this post was submitted on 07 Feb 2026
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Dear Elon:
I must decline your many requests, and stress that I would like you to stop contacting me. Since you have been so relentless, I will be extremely candid with you: You look like a Goblin, on a good day, and the very thought of you naked is horrifying. You will terrify the girls, who are, after all, only little kids. It's hard enough to get them to cooperate with having sex with fat old men without having you stalking around the room like a naked obese Gollum with a bad haircut.
It's a NO, and it will always be a NO. Please stop contacting me.
JE