this post was submitted on 05 Feb 2026

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105

My therapist says she might have to report my abusive family to the authorities. How do I avoid being reported so the cops don't show up and make everything worse? (lemmy.world)

submitted 15 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago) by sprigatito_bread@lemmy.world to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

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I (23M) started therapy today, hooray!

Only problem is, my family is too goddamn spicy. Once I got into my brother's (25M) increasingly homicidal fantasies and animal killings, she stopped me before I mentioned the threats he made to kill people and told me that she is a mandated reporter and has an obligation to report certain situations to the authorities.

I think adding police to the equation will make everything worse and immediately paint a target on my back because I am the only one who would ever disclose the violence that happens under this roof. It might result in me being homeless if I have to flee for my life. I live in Ohio and it's the middle of winter, so not a great start.

I wanted to work with a therapist because I grew up in this place and it traumatized me so badly that I'm scared of leaving this dump (not to mention, I have disabilities now that make that difficult). How much will I have to tiptoe around here? Is merely being afraid that someone will use violence against me reportable? What about if they fantasize about murder and domestic terrorism? What about violent crimes that they committed in the past? Or specific threats in the present?

Is therapy just not the right fit for this kind of thing? Did I end up with a heavy duty "fuck you" problem and therapy is just for "I feel sad sometimes" problems? It feels like bullshit to have to self-censor so much just because things were harder for me. How is throwing cops at the problem supposed to help when there is no universal basic sustenance or housing for the victims to escape to?

What are your experiences with mandated reporting, and how do you avoid triggering it?

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[–] fizzle@quokk.au 11 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

I’ve been finding that trauma literally makes me stupid. It locks me into myopic fear-based thought patterns that don’t actually help and just keep me trapped for longer.

Could it be that this dynamic has prevented you from contacting those organisations who literally exist to help you?

That commenter saying "its all collapsing", might be right, and perhaps no one is able to help you. However, they could also be wrong, and those organisations are ready and willing to help.

To set your expectations, there's probably not going to be a nice comfy free hotel room set up waiting for you. You'll probably be assigned a case officer who will be able to give you strategies to manage the problems you're facing, while you're waiting for accommodation to become available.

[–] sprigatito_bread@lemmy.world 4 points 10 hours ago

Could it be that this dynamic has prevented you from contacting those organisations who literally exist to help you?

Definitely. My mind has tried as hard as possible to convince itself that nobody in the real world cares about me or wants to help me. And therefore there are no social programs, public services, or mutual aid groups because Republicans nuked them all or something. Going to see a therapist IRL was the first time I challenged that core belief. It turns out that good people exist and they want to help me because I'm human. I'm going to need more exposure than that to rewire my bullshit gut instinct, which is why I'm pushing myself to go out to socialize and use public services. I think that the ability to ask for and accept help is key to getting out of here, so it's no wonder why my abusers aggressively push the idea that help doesn't exist.