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how would you deal with a relative yelling to you you killed his father just because you're the last nurse who treated him? (linux.community)

submitted 3 days ago by vestmoria@linux.community to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

22 comments fedilink hide all child comments

unrelenting, continuous, loud, right to your face verbal abuse, insinuating you overdosed the patient, pointing his fingers right to your face, claiming he is going to sue me and the hospital.

I froze, because this is the first time something like this happens to me, my ears hurt.

I don't know how long I stayed there, completely still because I didn't know what else to do. At some point I stopped listening to him and simply walked away to a restroom. Miraculously, he didn't follow me. I was ready to punch him if he touched me.

Out of the workplace, if somebody acts like that I either walk away or answer back or defend myself physically, should it escalate. Enduring that level of verbal abuse is something nobody enjoys, nor is something I am willing to tolerate.

The rest of my shift wasn't funny. Incident was reported.

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[–] bluebadoo@lemmy.world 28 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

I’m sorry you experienced that. That is horrible and should never be your problem as a nurse. Security should have been there for you.

You did nothing wrong. In fact, your body responded in the best way possible for your safety. Staying still is a stress response, and while it was horrible to endure, your body chose it because it was likely to keep you safe until your adrenaline dropped and you could think rationally again. Had you run, or fought, or tried to explain yourself the situation would have likely escalated.

I know in hindsight it feels like maybe if you had done “something else” or something different, things would have changed, but you have no control over that other person and it sounds like grief was taking the reins for them. It wasn’t about you, it was about losing their family member, and you were the quickest target for that aggression. There was nothing you could have done to change that outcome, and I think your body made the safest choice of also doing nothing.

Systematically, you shouldn’t have to endure that ever. Workplace harassment and violence is a big deal and healthcare workers deserve better.

As for me, I would have balled my eyes out and panicked and ran cause I can’t tolerate that level of stress, and it probably would have escalated or got violent.