Lesbians

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A community for lesbians, people whose loved ones are lesbians, people who want information about lesbians, queer people, and allies! Trans lesbians are lesbians and are welcome.

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I'm scared of not being the "real" parent (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

submitted 2 weeks ago by quantumgenderino@lemmy.blahaj.zone to c/lesbians@lemmy.blahaj.zone

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My wife (28 cis female) and I (31 transfem) have recently decided we want a baby but because she is the only one with functional reproductive parts, so the plan is to use a donor, and she'll be carrying the baby. I know it makes no sense, and it's just a brain goblin causing problems, but I'm scared I'm going to end up feeling like she's the "real" mom, while I'm just along for the ride. I'm going to be there all the way along, and it's going to be both our child, but brain goblins gonna brain goblin. Have any of you experienced this/have any words of advice? My wife and I have talked about my fears, and since I started transitioning, I've been getting better at not bottling things up from her, but again, brain goblins gonna brain goblin.

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[–] quantumgenderino@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

My current androgen blocker apparently has a chance of making you produce buttloads of prolactin, but I dodn't know there were treatments specifically for that. Having the option of breastfeeding would definitely be a huge help.

[–] thoughtfuldragon@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 2 weeks ago

I have a friend who did it. Was not a fun process but she said it was gender affirming.