CW: ableism (I think)
I've been recovering from/experiencing burnout symptoms for the majority of the last couple years. It definitely messed with my relationships and life in general to the point where some people were really confused and put off by my behavior. I've been isolating myself a lot and been kinda flaky with showing up to events or hang outs because I just haven't had the energy. I didn't really explain or offer reasons for my actions. I've just had no energy, no capacity to deal with life, let alone social situations.
Well, an old friend who's been going to therapy weekly for who knows how long basically confronted me the other day saying that I needed to 'get help', go on meds, or 'fix whatever the hell is going on' with me because I was starting to seem agoraphobic or severely depressed and 'overly obsessed with covid' (because I still mask when in public and large groups) and that they'd spoken to their therapist about me, who apparently suggested those terms to describe me...almost like the therapist made a second-hand diagnosis of me or something. I am AuDHD. They know I'm neurodivergent. I guess Autistic burnout is something completely foreign to both of them, because I'm a walking info graphic on burnout and it's notable symptoms.
I need space to recoup my very tiny battery, I get overwhelmed by too much stimuli, I've had deteriorating executive function, struggled to communicate, and just do life stuff some days. I told them I was burnt out, and they never responded. I guess it's been annoying enough for this person to talk to their therapist at length about what's wrong with me, which makes me feel fucking weird.
Idk what I'm expecting by posting this. I guess I'm wondering if anyone has experienced something like this and maybe have advice on what to say to this person, who I thought understood that I was ND and struggling with everything? How the fuck do I even begin to counter those weird accusations and the low-key aggressive way that they approached me with this? I was so flabbergasted I just didn't respond. And now I can't stop thinking about it.
I can see how that could be the case, the pathologizing based on other's comments. It really turned me off wanting to pursue interacting with them further, especially the 'fixing' me part like you mentioned. My knee-jerk reaction was to ask why they were discussing me instead of themselves in a one-on-one therapy session I have no part of. I suppose I could try to explain or educate them, but I'm tired. I don't know if I have the spoons to try to mend that perception of myself when I have other people in my life who just accept me as I am. I'll have to really think on it. Appreciate your response, it's validating in a way.
Absolutely not on you to do the labour of educating them. You could just be straightforward to the point and tell them they dont know what theyre talking about, youve got a good understanding of yourself, and are doing what you need in order to take care of yourself. And yeah they should be talking in therapy about themself, not trying to pin problems on you or do armchair dx stuff.