this post was submitted on 13 Jan 2026
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[–] SevenSkalls@hexbear.net 66 points 3 days ago (4 children)

Sounds like Holden Bloodfeast has been trying but Trump doesn't care. He wants new territory and he's not going to get it from the desperate neocons in his cabinet trying to bomb Iran or fight Russia lol.

Got to hand it to him, he does know that the easiest way is going to be from the weak and pathetic EU.

[–] Damarcusart@hexbear.net 45 points 3 days ago (3 children)

I think at some point someone put the idea in his head that all the "greatest" presidents conquered territory for the US, and so he is convinced he needs to do that as well and refuses to back down.

Or it could be a push and pull between different factions, some who recognise that the US cannot continue as it is without more resources, and some that would rather just not rock the boat and continue stripping the copper from the walls.

[–] PorkrollPosadist@hexbear.net 37 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Dude wants to put another star on the flag

[–] Trying2KnowMyself@hexbear.net 39 points 3 days ago (1 children)

If that’s all it were, it’d be easy:

  • Puerto Rico
  • Virgin Islands (hell, take the British ones too)
  • Guam
  • American Samoa (by the time you’re snatching the BVI you really think Samoa’s gonna put up a fight when you fold it in too?)
  • Mariana Islands

Boom, 11 columns of 5 so the new flag won’t even look too different.

[–] KoboldKomrade@hexbear.net 41 points 3 days ago (1 children)
  1. too spanish (woke)
  2. and become the Virgin president?
  3. too tiny (woke)
  4. reminds me of samoa joe, which reminds me of sleepy joe, no go.
  5. sounds too italian, mama mia, next you'll be saying we should allow them to join our Beautiful Union
[–] Trying2KnowMyself@hexbear.net 27 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Just rename them, problem solved!

  1. Trumpland
  2. Donald Islands
  3. I dunno, pick a political rival if it’s insulting for it to be so small? Obamna?
  4. Ericsland
  5. Barron Islands
[–] Kefla@hexbear.net 29 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I prefer the Gulf of Mexico approach.

  1. Port America
  2. American Islands
  3. America Island
  4. American America
  5. America Islands

If anyone ever mixes them up they're fired

[–] Trying2KnowMyself@hexbear.net 13 points 3 days ago

Maybe for some of them, but I can’t imagine a complete lack of vanity in the renaming. Maybe just make Puerto Rico “Donald Trump’s Port of Making America Great” and keep the rest like you’ve got them?

[–] SoyViking@hexbear.net 23 points 3 days ago

Greenland is not white enough to be a state. It is majority indigenous. The population is also very small.

Maybe they think they can flood it with white settlers but there's good material reasons why it is so sparsely populated.

[–] SevenSkalls@hexbear.net 22 points 3 days ago (1 children)

That's got to be it, right? It's just so fucking weird and random how badly he wants that place.

[–] fox@hexbear.net 31 points 3 days ago (1 children)

On a Mercator map it's bigger than the USA. I don't think he's able to understand what a 3km ice sheet means for mineral extraction, and he's lived inside a solid gold echo chamber his whole life so I don't think he knows what polar climates are able to support in terms of agriculture or general habitability. I think he's looking at maps and seeing a really big piece of land basically next door and he wants to be immortalized

[–] AssortedBiscuits@hexbear.net 16 points 3 days ago

He didn't see the meme that explained how Greenland is ice and Iceland is green.

[–] coolusername@hexbear.net 10 points 3 days ago

i think he needs to be reminded that getting people killed will send him to hell

[–] XxFemboy_Stalin_420_69xX@hexbear.net 36 points 3 days ago (1 children)

trump has map painting brain rot, somebody show him eu4

[–] KoloradoKoolAid75@lemmygrad.ml 7 points 3 days ago (2 children)

eu4

Wake up grandpa, EU5 released.

[–] BanMeFromPosting@hexbear.net 8 points 3 days ago

Everybody knows the new game sucks for at least two years, you're streets behind

eu5 isn’t the map painting simulator eu4 is though. trumps monkey brain “make name big on map” mindset is better suited to eu4

[–] BanMeFromPosting@hexbear.net 19 points 3 days ago

Honestly just show him a Greenland that isn't warped by the Mercator projection and he'd probably drop it

[–] KoloradoKoolAid75@lemmygrad.ml 9 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

Got to hand it to him, he does know that the easiest way is going to be from the weak and pathetic EU.

I won't hand it to him if he doesn't invade mainland €ur𖦏p€.