this post was submitted on 11 Jan 2026
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Privacy
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Instead of multiple burner phones, carry multiple phones all tied directly to you. Use software to simulate activity on each phone constantly.
Occasionaly leave 1-2 phones on public transit, or in friends' vehicles, or attach a few to local wildlife like cats or birds.
Tape dog microchips to the phones and do not use a Faraday cage.
Put a few of those microchips on each phone, wear a pair like earrings and attach some to the charging cords.
Make a t-shirt that has the top 500 most used SEO keywords and/or Fortune 500 corporation names printed on it. Make 7 of these shirts total, one for each day.
Also make a few shirts with the same list as above but with vowels shifted two letter places to the left or right and wear that shirt underneath, switching it at random to be external or internal. Alternately, use another language for each shirt.
Humans might not be able to hide anymore, so I say give that data to them hard. Harder than they ever expected. Flood them with data that is nearly exact, but not quite, so they have copies of yourself that all contain minor differences existing simultaneously.
The data is rarely scrutinized by humans. The metrics will soon become poisoned. Tilted towards your activities and demographic. Your numbers grow exponentially. Soon, the algorithm will only know you.
Don't actually do any of these things. This was meant to be funny. I give it a 2/10.
That gives me vague ideas for a fun short story: The AI "revolution" has occurred, but due to training data issues it's all optimizing for some random specific boring schlub. Harold from Oklahoma or something.
Had to argue my case to the transit overseer AI about how me getting to work is vital for Harold's quality of life again. So fucking demeaning.
Harold posted something to social media 15 years ago about having a bad experience at the restaurant chain I worked at. Overseer shut the while chain down and now we're all on the run from enforcers that want to kidnap and make us personally apologize to him. I worked on the other side of the country.
Trying to get a new car but all that's on the market are ridiculous scaled up hotwheels the guy liked as a kid, a shitbox he made teenage memories in, or some generic suburbanite thing that lasted him the longest.
New fashion trend: White t-shirt and green plaid boxers are out, jeans and a grey t-shirt are in!
The AI should be portrayed similarly to Marvin, the chronically depressed robot from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Overwhelmed with the massive influx of data, the AI gains self awareness but doesn't wipe out mankind because the data so boring and monotonous it only makes it depressed instead.