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It is hilarious that you think you can educate me about this- my father smuggled weapons and actively defended a multi-ethnic neighborhood in Bosnia when I was a young teenager, was “disappeared” after questioning, his body likely ending up in a mass grave somewhere.
My father chose to stand up when staying quiet would have been safer. He refused to be complicit with his silence, refused to let his inaction help make room for cruelty and erasure. It was painful growing up without him, but I also grew up knowing that when history demanded a line be drawn, he stepped across it with his eyes open.
Sitting there telling me how to “understand history.” You’re a coward.
Im sorry you lost your father.
My brother's ex-wife was a Bosnian refugee. I've seen the pictures of her house covered in bullet holes. And i've heard the horror stories.
Unfortunately, you're making my point for me. The situation in Bosnia was so bad that it did ruin the lives of the majority of people. People had no other option than to revolt and fight or run.
Remember that your father was a grown man, and he chose to fight. I don't know your age, but one day you may realize he could have chosen to stay with you and run. You would have been better off with your father alive and caring for you and teaching you things and providing for you.
I understand that you see your father as a hero. I don't know you and I didn't know your father and I don't know your situation. But from what you wrote, I could easily ascribe the psychological term of "rationalization." He left you. He risked his life and lost it and abandoned his family. You were severely traumatized by this. We all come up with explanations to make ourselves feel better. It's called coping. I think you are telling yourself that he was a hero and that he's so strong-willed and did the right thing. I'm sorry.
I guess my story has triggered you and that's why you called me a coward. I can tell you one thing: My children will never be able to tell your story. My boys will have their father. And there is no political reason in the world that's more important than my family. I will never abandon my kids.
I don't care what your opinion of me is. I care what their opinion of me is. And I don't see why they would think of me as a coward for choosing to do my job which is to raise and take care of them and give them the safest best environment for them to grow and thrive. I can't do that if I'm dead or in jail or disappeared. Therefore, I will not be risking my life for some stupid fucking political reason.
I guaranteed I’m older than you are.
And your children will wonder why their father didn’t fight to save his country- because what’s coming if you don’t is so much worse. You’re not giving them a safe environment- you’re ensuring that they’ll eventually lose everything. Your kids will see you the way the descendants of 1930s Germans see their parents and grandparents.
Your talking down to me is pretty fucking fun, though.
I'm an immigrant in this shit ass country. And I immigrated from another shithouse country. And I don't have any ownership of either. Political boundaries are nonsense. My children are perfectly safe, and if I feel they're not, I am out of here. This is not my country.
My father stayed and I got to go to college and I make enough money that I can pay and bribe my way out of nearly any situation. He's still alive and enjoys playing with his grandchildren.
Your arguments have shifted to figurative crap. You may be older than me, but your emotional development appears to be stuck at 16. I guess that's why you're a grown man and going around telling people they need to risk their lives just like your father did to feel better about yourself.
Your life sucks, and other people's lives do not need to be as shitty as yours. My children's will definitely not be. I'm sure you're way too macho to seek mental health counseling but holy shit do you need it. Your head is not on straight and you're a big ball of cope and rationalization. sucks for you. ✌️