this post was submitted on 08 Jan 2026
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Lesbians

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I remember numerous months ago when a study came out showing that of the people now identifying as LGBT+, most of them were bisexual. Somebody commented something along the lines of “this kinda proves my theory that everyone is bisexual.” I’ve seen this sentiment before then, though.

I have mixed feelings: most of the people proposing this are themselves bisexual and usually saying it in good faith. I have little doubt that there are more bisexuals than we think, too; they hesitate to identify as such due to factors like stigmatization and unawareness.

Even so, this suggestion still rubs me the wrong way: it invalidates our own identities and implies that we “just haven’t found the right man yet”, like we only need to subject ourselves to dozens of guys (either in person or from photographs) and eventually we’ll win the lottery. There are plenty of other things that I would rather be doing. I suppose that somebody could argue that I must be bisexual because umpteen years ago I found a few guys attractive, but that categorization would be so misleading as to be useless.

What do you think?

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[–] celeste@kbin.earth 1 points 4 days ago

I would not be shocked if there were more bi people than het or gay (or ace), and that we'd find that out in a world without homophobia, but I don't think it's anywhere near (almost) all. My suspicion is that there are more heterosexuals than bi people, but I can see finding out otherwise. I really really doubt other sexualities almost don't exist because there's a chance bi people exist in higher numbers than we used to know.

It comes across sometimes like women aren't allowed to say we know ourselves, especially if it means we aren't immediately complying with whatever other people want from us.

I don't like, as a bisexual, when people try to use bisexuality as a way to define lesbians out of existence. You get to say who you are.