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Shots fired. (lemmy.world)
submitted 9 months ago by BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world to c/memes@lemmy.ml
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[-] Setarkus@toast.ooo 25 points 9 months ago

For a moment I really thought there was something in the bible that could be seen as Jesus "whoring at the theater"

[-] lars@lemmy.world 13 points 9 months ago

If US Christians are making it up as they go and seeing whatever they wanna see in the Bible, then I call upon you, my child, to announce your submission to the Parable of Jesus the Whore of the Theater and the Christ.

[-] Setarkus@toast.ooo 7 points 9 months ago

I'll wait for a good uncensored chatbot to write me a seemingly truthful story about exactly that. I wonder how many people would believe it if I just showed them

[-] lars@lemmy.world 6 points 9 months ago

Me and Jesus await with ’bated breath.

[-] Setarkus@toast.ooo 2 points 9 months ago

I wonder what he'd say about fanfics concerning him

[-] lars@lemmy.world 1 points 9 months ago

Despite Him having:

  • known you’d be born in ≈2000 years
  • known He was dying for sins He defined and you commit, which He also knew and did nothing to prevent
  • having had the audacity to whine to His Dad when He unal*ved both a God and Himself in an act of auto‑sui‑dei‑but-also-somehow-fili‑cide-by-cop by and through the innocent hands of local law enforcement, our boys in blue, whom I still salute when I’m driving, and while those closest to Him, who were Jewish, could do nothing but listen to the moaning you are responsible for, but which He chose to endure
  • been surprised that His dad forgot about Him,

I believe He’d be surprised if there weren’t Oily/Annointed/Christ Josh/Jesus fanfics of a charismatic 33-year-old, may peace be upon Him, taking it both ends, my son.

[-] frezik@midwest.social 4 points 9 months ago

Might be in one of the Gnostic gospels.

[-] drolex@sopuli.xyz 5 points 9 months ago

Brawndon 6:4-7 And thus went Big J to the theatre, for Pagliacus was in town. But when the spectacle started, Jesus was overcome by the lust of whoring. And so it came to pass that he was brought to the tribunal for indecent exposure, and whoring, and petty theft and also grand theft auto, bribery, and contempt, and illegal possession of firearms, and possession and sale of drugs, and illegal possession of a dangerous animal.

this post was submitted on 19 Sep 2023
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