I've worked 13 hours straight and had to organize a push to get us fed dinner.
There's a good chance I'm stuck here for 2 more hours, meaning I get 0 time to do anything except sleep and do this again.
I want to quit so badly, but I'm basically forced to be here because this job market is such shit that it took a year to get this job. And I consider myself lucky to have this.
There's a thread on lemmygrad from someone that's also exhausted around the discourse about the American "left". Yes we suck, yes we are privileged compared to a lot of people, yes our organizing is tame and not effective, yes my material conditions mean I'm not doing adventurism and neither are my comrades.
BUT don't claim we're not trying. I know people working two jobs. I technically have 2 jobs and am maybe able to get back on my feet financially in a few months. We still do what we can and it's not enough but we're not at that point. Yeah that's privileged if you call being scared shitless of being homeless and being abused by literally every other human here...
I'm tired
I don't think you're ready to hear this and I'm sorry for just laying it out, but like, you do realize your life can only get worse from now, if things stay the way they are? You should be doing what you can to fight for your rights and your own dignity as a worker, in ways your personal martial conditions allow you to, instead of engaging in online pity arguments.
Reading theory, making connections, building comradeship, would be a much better use of your free time. You're already so exploited, why spend what little freedom you have left in keyboard wars and sewing division?
I am doing those things, just not spending my time here talking about them. Partly for op sec but also here is a place to vent and joke and take the piss out of pissrael and dunk on libs. This isn't an organizing space as much as I wish it was.
See I'm already falling for the divide and conquer tactic myself because we're basically having an online boxing match over our ideologies, while the rulers are fucking up our lives. I think I'm gonna go try to do something now, see if I can be a good Samaritan, yesterday I helped out an old person and all I got was a smile in return, but enough for me.
taking up a second and third job isn't any kind of freedom. I'm "free" to look for a better job too but that is impossible to do when work so utterly destroys me that i can't even prepare food.
https://yewtu.be/watch?v=XVUmqI6NoAA