this post was submitted on 29 Dec 2025
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I'm sorry if this is attention seeking, I'm trying not to be...

Ever since I was a kid, I was different from other girls. I wanted to be a boy. Since I knew boys had penises, I wanted a penis too. I wanted to be like my dad. Though he turned out to be not a good person, I didn't know that at my young age.

I wanted to hang out with boys and do "what the boys did", not what the girls did.

I didn't like makeup or dresses, but I just thought I was a tomboy or a boyish girl. But do boyish girls want penises? Do girls who want to be like their fathers feel the way I do? Well, I guess some of them do.

But my grandpa and dad have convinced me that all I will ever be is a girl. Just a confused girl masquerading as a guy. Just a confused girl who society has "pushed an agenda on".

I don't like rough labor either which I see stereotypically with guys and stuff, but I do like weight lifting and that gives me gender euphoria. I would take T to help me get stronger but to my internalized transphobic brain (I'm working on that), it's cheating.

If you want to use my name(s) in your reply, by the way, I'm Larry or Scott. Alex or Mikey is fine too.

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[โ€“] inb4_FoundTheVegan@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

With all the love Scott, there is no such thing as "cheating" to get a body that makes you happy. Even if you were a cis man in a competitive sport taking T for an advantage, EVEN THEN taking T would only be cheating at the sport, not yourself.

But internalized transphobia is always the hardest hurdle, I get it. I'm sorry your dad/G-pa are so close minded and adverse to you gender exploration. There is no "agenda" to you happiness, you and you alone decide who you are, I hope the people in your life focus on that instead of their own hangups.

[โ€“] may_be@thelemmy.club 2 points 1 day ago