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With grief, the only way out is through. Unlike other mental ailments such as depression or anxiety, you're not going to find a cognitive distortion or flawed line of thinking that is responsible for the distress and can be challenged. Grief is logical, and we have to feel it until it becomes less intense.
What we can do is modulate how much we're processing at any given moment to try to keep it manageable. Think of it like that saying, "How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time." You can't change the total size of the task, but you can control how big of bites you take.
Finding what helps you reduce the "bites" will be personal, but starting with some general coping skills like "thought-stopping", meditation, or any activity that keeps your mind active and occupied is a good start.
Yeah, jail cell made of cake metaphor is good.