Transmasc

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I feel like a girl masquerading as a guy, can someone affirm me please? (thelemmy.club)

submitted 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) by may_be@thelemmy.club to c/ftm@lemmy.blahaj.zone

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I'm sorry if this is attention seeking, I'm trying not to be...

Ever since I was a kid, I was different from other girls. I wanted to be a boy. Since I knew boys had penises, I wanted a penis too. I wanted to be like my dad. Though he turned out to be not a good person, I didn't know that at my young age.

I wanted to hang out with boys and do "what the boys did", not what the girls did.

I didn't like makeup or dresses, but I just thought I was a tomboy or a boyish girl. But do boyish girls want penises? Do girls who want to be like their fathers feel the way I do? Well, I guess some of them do.

But my grandpa and dad have convinced me that all I will ever be is a girl. Just a confused girl masquerading as a guy. Just a confused girl who society has "pushed an agenda on".

I don't like rough labor either which I see stereotypically with guys and stuff, but I do like weight lifting and that gives me gender euphoria. I would take T to help me get stronger but to my internalized transphobic brain (I'm working on that), it's cheating.

If you want to use my name(s) in your reply, by the way, I'm Larry or Scott. Alex or Mikey is fine too.

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[–] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 5 points 4 days ago

I don’t believe that being validated would constitute “attention seeking” behavior. You’re obviously going through an existential crisis, and that’s nothing to take lightly (from your and our side).

It sucks that the people who should always have your back (family; especially your dad) don’t. They are the ones who should be fighting like hell to keep you safe; to protect and stand up for you. I do know how bad it feels when you feel alone and abandoned. I’m sorry that they’re failing you.

If you feel like a man, then by all means, you’re a man. This is your life, your feelings, and your very identity. Not mine, and certainly not your family’s.

You’re not cheating by taking hormones to help you realize yourself. You’re cheating (yourself) by thinking you can’t do what you need to do.

If I may leave you with some advice I have always told my children: Bravery isn’t about not being scared. Bravery is doing what needs to be done, in spite of being scared.

You are being brave. And that counts for a lot. 🤜 🤛