I'm around 9 months of feminizing HRT, and maintain the opinion that it is one of the best decisions I've made. I know that a lot of long term changes won't kick in until the 2-3 year mark at least, and it can take 5 or more years before strength is comparable to a cis woman.
Yesterday I took some milestone pictures, and it was the first time I've seen my back since before starting hormones. Holy dysphoria Batman. Genuinely the most acute dysphoria I've experienced. I have had a day to cry, nap, and evaluate, and am back to trusting the process, but damn I want these lats to go away.
I powerlifted in my past life as a way to try and run away from the woman I wanted to become, but haven't done any upper body strength training in over 3 years. I'd have great genes if I wasn't trans ;-;
So look, your back does not look dissimilar to my CIS wife's back, and while she is not a powerlifter we do both actively strength train 3 days a week. Your dysphoria is totally valid, but all I saw when you shared was a woman's muscled back. They'll probably go as you keep going on HRT, but it's worth keeping in mind the lens you're seeing your back in doesn't necessarily reflect how you come across.
I needed to hear this, thank you <3