this post was submitted on 10 Dec 2025
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c/atlassian (hexbear.net)
submitted 1 month ago by Snort_Owl@hexbear.net to c/main@hexbear.net
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I want to tell everyone about my love for atlassian products and jira align and confluence ooohh ohhohooh i love them so much im an enthusiast i love making burndown charts ohohoohoh im so FUCKING ALIGNED RIGHT NOW oooh give me my quarterly sprint reports i neeeeeeeed to know how many tickets im carrying over hyperflush WOW omg CONFLUENCE you really wis my wig IF YA KNOW WHAT I MEAN

ohoohohohoohohoo sprint ceremony to the grave baaabbyyyyeeeeeeeee OHOOHOHOHOHOHO

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[–] Sickos@hexbear.net 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That's it. I won't stand for this slander.

I'm Hexbear's agile coach now and I'm going to put the organize in "Organize!"

  • All posts must directly link to a user story and be approved by the scrum master and product owner
  • every news mega needs to culminate in a retrospective, where we determine what news was actually important the past week and discuss what news will be important next week
  • critical stakeholders need to keep holding their stakes in case of vampires
  • users are reminded to conduct all chatting in the main mega thread for easy reference later
  • if a wild LIB appears, notify your scrum master so they can reprioritize the sprint before you start dunking
  • planning strip poker is mandatory
  • the best effort post is the own that gets posted, let's all focus on minimum viable posts. We can dig deeper in the comments.
[–] Snort_Owl@hexbear.net 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

We need a daily standup to discuss posting blockers but actually its just a status update to the admins on the progress of our posts

[–] Sickos@hexbear.net 3 points 1 month ago

I have a couple hard blockers I was banned from lemmygrad for defending anarchism and banned from db0 for defending communism we can schedule a meeting to discuss but I have a hard stop an hour and a half before EOD because I'm planning to get banned from hexbear for defending electoralism