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Have any advice on dealing with difficult things? (piefed.social)

submitted 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) by ButteryMonkey@piefed.social to c/casualconversation@piefed.social

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I don’t have a lot of people to turn to, never really have.. I’ve been pretty isolated most of my life, so I’ve just sort of muddled through by reading a lot and trying to figure out how to deal with stuff on my own.

But I’m not really sure how to handle this. I’m disabled and have been most of my life, and I haven’t really let it stop me for the most part. It gets in the way, but I brute force my way through. Often to my own detriment.

I guess I’m not doing as well as I thought.. I’m applying for a disability upgrade, and one of the things I can submit is statements in support of my claim, letters from the people around me about how my disability impacts my life, and theirs. If this doesn’t sound like a normal disability process that’s because this is the VA service-connected disability process, rather than a normal one.

Anyway, I asked a couple of my closest friends to write something up about how they have seen the impacts, and it low-key hurt my soul to read. Reading how they have been negatively impacted by my limitations, and how they view what I go through has been the worst kind of eye opening.

And I’m not sure how to deal with that, or even where to look.

If you’ve got motherly or fatherly advice, if you’ve been through similar, if you’ve been through something else hard, please feel free to share. Anything helps.

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[–] Aviandelight@mander.xyz 3 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

I am not disabled but my husband is. We've gone through many psychiatric reviews together to get and maintain his disability status. I will tell you that it doesn't get easier being under the microscope. It is natural to have feelings of guilt and want to be defensive when you're faced with the realization that you're not considered "normal." I absolutely hate going to these reviews because they always make both of us feel like we aren't doing enough to be normal. But the at last review we went to the psychiatrist was amazing and when we both started shutting down during the interview she told us that it's okay; we're not normal but we are coping in a very healthy way. She commended us for our efforts, our routines, and our strong relationship. And that little bit of recognition really really helped. So yes you might be down now after reading what your friends wrote and discovering some new things you didn't know, but I would definitely suggest that you take a personal inventory of all the things you are doing to live your best life right now. Don't sell yourself short.