view the rest of the comments
the_dunk_tank
It's the dunk tank.
This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.
Rule 1: All posts must include links to the subject matter, and no identifying information should be redacted.
Rule 2: If your source is a reactionary website, please use archive.is instead of linking directly.
Rule 3: No sectarianism.
Rule 4: TERF/SWERFs Not Welcome
Rule 5: No ableism of any kind (that includes stuff like libt*rd)
Rule 6: Do not post fellow hexbears.
Rule 7: Do not individually target other instances' admins or moderators.
Rule 8: The subject of a post cannot be low hanging fruit, that is comments/posts made by a private person that have low amount of upvotes/likes/views. Comments/Posts made on other instances that are accessible from hexbear are an exception to this. Posts that do not meet this requirement can be posted to !shitreactionariessay@lemmygrad.ml
Rule 9: if you post ironic rage bait im going to make a personal visit to your house to make sure you never make this mistake again
A man is in a tragic accident and awakens in the hospital. The doctor and nurse are there and after the basic checks the doctor pulls up a chair.
"I have some terrible news, sir. You were in a terrible accident and you lost your penis."
The man is shocked, and starts to weep, but the doctor continues.
"Since you were unconscious, we did put a replacement in place for you. The only problem is that all we could find in such short notice was a baby elephant trunk."
The man checks it out and is satisfied with the replacement. He's released from the hospital a few days later and returns to his life.
A few weeks later he has his first date since the accident. He's having a nice conversation with his date when he hears the distinct sound of his pants zipper slowly opening. He blushes, hoping his date didn't hear the noise.
A few moment later the end of the baby elephant trunk that is his penis snakes over the edge of the table, snuffing and tapping, searching over the table cloth. His date notices and watches, eyes wide.
Suddenly, it grabs a dinner roll from his bread plate and whips back under the table.
"Was that your penis?" his date asks, her eyes wide and her cheeks flushed.
Embarrassed, he can only nod and the color rises in his cheeks.
"That was amazing," she said, "Can it do it again?"
He shrugged, "Probably, but I don't know if my asshole can take another roll."
I'm going to use this joke IRL at some point and probably botch the delivery
omfg I did not expect that punchline I'm fucking crying![emoji order-of-lenin order-of-lenin](https://www.hexbear.net/pictrs/image/9823c42b-2c78-491a-8333-f6b52d660c3f.png)