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this post was submitted on 16 Sep 2023
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the_dunk_tank
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It's the dunk tank.
This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.
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Make them write their username on the trunk to prove it's not just one they grabbed online.
A man is in a tragic accident and awakens in the hospital. The doctor and nurse are there and after the basic checks the doctor pulls up a chair.
"I have some terrible news, sir. You were in a terrible accident and you lost your penis."
The man is shocked, and starts to weep, but the doctor continues.
"Since you were unconscious, we did put a replacement in place for you. The only problem is that all we could find in such short notice was a baby elephant trunk."
The man checks it out and is satisfied with the replacement. He's released from the hospital a few days later and returns to his life.
A few weeks later he has his first date since the accident. He's having a nice conversation with his date when he hears the distinct sound of his pants zipper slowly opening. He blushes, hoping his date didn't hear the noise.
A few moment later the end of the baby elephant trunk that is his penis snakes over the edge of the table, snuffing and tapping, searching over the table cloth. His date notices and watches, eyes wide.
Suddenly, it grabs a dinner roll from his bread plate and whips back under the table.
"Was that your penis?" his date asks, her eyes wide and her cheeks flushed.
Embarrassed, he can only nod and the color rises in his cheeks.
"That was amazing," she said, "Can it do it again?"
He shrugged, "Probably, but I don't know if my asshole can take another roll."
I'm going to use this joke IRL at some point and probably botch the delivery
omfg I did not expect that punchline I'm fucking crying