this post was submitted on 26 Nov 2025
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Do you ever feel like a lot of conflict and controversy could be avoided if everyone was more clear about what they mean? (lemmy.world)
submitted 5 days ago by Droggelbecher@lemmy.world to c/autism@lemmy.world
23 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

With other neurodivergents, I feel like we explain what we mean in more detail. If not that, the other one recognizes the lacking detail, asks about it, and it gets cleared up.

When I talk to neurotypicals, or read or hear them discuss among themselves, this doesn't happen as much. When I ask, it's often seen as rude.

Here's some examples of what I mean:

There's a lot of ackshually, x is a fruit/berry/not a berry/ etc. When in fact, the terms each have two definitions: a culinary one and a botanical one. A strawberry is a berry in the culinary sense, but not the botanical one. A tomato is a fruit in the botanical sense, but not the culinary one. Ive repeatedly been called a know-it-all for bringing this up, and ironically usually by the person correcting others by saying, eg., a tomato is a fruit.

'Do(n't) you trust me?' I may 100% trust your intentions, but I don't 100% trust your judgment. This has nothing to do with you; I never 100% trust anyone's judgment, including my own. This happens the other way around, too, when I ask someone for feedback about a decision I'm making, and they say they trust me and thus won't give input. Like, thank you for trusting my intentions, but I don't want you to blindly trust my judgment. That's why I'm asking for feedback.

Another one is respect. Sometimes, to respect someone means to accept them as an authority figure, and sometimes it means to treat them with basic human dignity. It's hardly ever specified which it is.

I could go on here, so please feel free to add your own, I'm curious!

Do you also find this to be an issue with as well as among neurotypicals or am I way off here? Thanks for you replies!

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[โ€“] Sir_Kevin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I do the same but people will "read between the lines" and interpret what I said to mean something else. Or they think I'm implying some hidden message when in fact, I meant exactly what I said, and only what I said. Nothing less and nothing more. It's why I take a moment before speaking. I'm thinking of the best way to phrase my words. Yet it's often all for nothing.

[โ€“] zea_64@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 16 hours ago

In English there's often no good way to avoid connotations other than a massive wall of text, and even there people will frequently ignore caveats.