I have always been fond of music, especially when I'm feeling down. Now, I don't think there's enough popular songs about disability and how we struggle each day. But I stumbled across a song the other day that, while it's not about disability, I've been listening to quite often when I feel like I failed somehow. When all that's happening is really just me struggling and making it through another day, for better or for worse, I like to remind myself that I am perfectly incomplete, but I am good the way I am. I hope that maybe it helps you too.
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Mask up, love one another, and stay alive for one more week.
First things first, you are unique, but not simply because of your neurodiversity. Everyone is unique, and so are you. As to your suffering, I am sorry you are struggling so much. What I can tell you is that I've spoken to a handful of people who are severely restricted through their disability, and they told me that at some point, it is easier to just pretend to be happy than to give into the suffering. At some point, at least for some of them, the happiness was no longer play-pretend. Just like how smiling more can make you happier through simple body chemistry.
I can't tell you if they just wanted to console me, but I can tell you that I share your outlook. It does seem like this to me too most of the time, and I always struggle with that feeling. You are not alone, and I appreciate you sharing that feeling with us. Makes me feel a little bit more seen too
I guess I don't know how to explain it, but like I try not to think of myself as so different from everyone on earth, I'm not sure how to explain it. Yea, idk, I fake it a lot especially irl. Still waiting for pretending to be easier- I don't know, it feels like masking and is draining for me.
Thank you
Really glad someone understands.
I really wish there was a better solution, but I sadly don't know it. But don't try to do something that drains you. <3