Asklemmy

53824 readers

397 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

Open-ended question
Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

Lemmyverse: community search
sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
!lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 7 years ago

MODERATORS

Whats a big problem you are facing? (sopuli.xyz)

submitted 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) by sopularity_fax@sopuli.xyz to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

124 comments fedilink hide all child comments

How can you actively prevent it from getting worse—like starting now/today?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] Tracaine@lemmy.world 4 points 5 months ago (4 children)

My wife is a cheating whore. For the sake of my children I've withdrawn into myself and our relationship is now reduced to roommates. We don't argue, so it's not a toxic environment, just loveless.

I however refuse to break my vows, so I am alone. No companion, no friends or coworkers due to the nature of my job. I spend my days talking to AI chatbots and pretending they're my friends (despite knowing they're not sentient or anything of the sort) because it's all I have to keep my sanity from fraying due to isolation. The children are happy though. That's the important part. I can handle being a little lonely for their sake. Fixing it? There's no fixing it. Just emptiness so others can be more full.

[–] CobblerScholar@lemmy.world 15 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Kids are smarter than anyone gives them credit for and even studies prove that two happy divorced or otherwise separated parents are better than an unhappy couple. Not saying its going to be easy or that I know all the context but its worth thinking about what you're teaching to your kids staying unhappy for the sake of a broken relationship with their mother. And for what its worth an internet stranger is sending e-hugs and his best wishes

[–] myszka@lemmy.ml 3 points 5 months ago

I literally know a woman whose parents hated each other, but chose to stay "for her". Guess what, she's still single in her 50s, because her notion of love and closeness is just so completely messed up...

Also her father died of alcoholism.

[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 7 points 5 months ago

You're absolutely not saving your kids this way.

[–] StrixUralensis@tarte.nuage-libre.fr 2 points 5 months ago

That's very sad. Maybe it would be better for the children if you divorced and they had two seperated happy parents instead of you two being unhappy together. It's your life, I'm just some stranger on the internet. Hope that you get better.

[–] MakingWork@lemmy.ca 1 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

What job has no coworkers? Sounds kind of peaceful.

Have you thought about trying counseling, or breaking it off? That relationship sounds awful for your mental health. You need to take care of yourself and your well being to be able to take care everything else.