this post was submitted on 13 Oct 2025
68 points (84.7% liked)

Ask Lemmy

35098 readers
2034 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[โ€“] TonyOstrich@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I refrained from talking about the gender role thing because per the post title it didn't seem like a prejudice perse, even if related. It's also a topic I always try and preface with stating that although the symptoms might be fairly plane and apparent the cause is very complex and nuanced and a result of a lot of different societal pressures and influences. Partially because it is very easy to paint someone talking about it as a red pill misogynist if that nuance is ignored. I also try and point out that this ultimately isn't a gender issue or any other tribalism type thing, but merely a result of human nature. People are shitty sometimes. That's universal.

In my experience, there are a lot of women that are very vocal about equity and equality, especially in relationships. However it's often fairly unidirectional. For example they want their partner to be able to do things like cook, laundry, dishes, etc (which I can do, I think that's part of being a well rounded person), but they don't have much interest in learning how to do the traditionally male coded household tasks. Or they don't want to be the one to approach and ask me out, I always have to be the one to pursue. Similarly in the bedroom I have never met a woman who is dominant or willing to try, despite the fact that I am very switchy.

In talking to these people and pointing out how their personal desires and behavior don't align with their actual decisions and behavior they often default to, that's just my personal preference.

That's nice, but who cares? It's not fair to have it both ways and ultimately feels like another form of pulling the ladder up behind them.

[โ€“] TubularTittyFrog@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I don't think it's that nuanced or complex. They are just hypocritical assholes, but for some reason people refuse to think women or any minority can be a hypocritical assholes. They can. they are just like men in that regard... nobody seems to have an issue with calling out men as being assholes for having hypocritical expectations of women.

Rules apply to everyone else, but themselves. And yes, very much the types who agree with ladder pulling and thinking wealth/education/freedom should only be for the 'upper classes' of which they consider themselves to be a part of, and they want nothing to do with the 'unwashed masses' who don't feign enlightenment like they do.