this post was submitted on 13 Oct 2025
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And they are expecting him to return one day. I can't imagine he will be stoked to see all that iconography and be reminded of that awkward part. I'd have thought depictions of one of his sermons, or a carpentry tool, or just his name would have been better.
Good news, they’ll never have to find out. Just as nobody needs to worry about the return of other Mesopotamian gods or their judgement, Jesus isn’t coming back.
It’s a good thing, too, because if they actually read their scripture, Jesus wasn’t the hippie socialist they like to think he was. According to the book (if you don’t cherry pick it), he was just as vengeful as his father, and was fine with all the terrible and unjust things done by every other incarnation of himself.
Modern Christians would absolutely fall short of his judgement. Maybe the Amish would be okay. Maybe.
Oh ye of little faith!
He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!
Are you the keymaster?
Yes... I'm a friend of his, he told me to meet him here.
Mind if I hang out? I brought some flowers and tranquilizers because I was expecting we would be going on a date.
You had me at tranquilisers.
The execution is the whole point though. The Christian understanding of the Crucifixion isn't just "our leader got tortured and killed and that's sad," it goes way deeper than that. The cross represents the very moment that human sin was forgiven due to the sacrifice of Jesus as a perfect, sinless being. Christians believe that the sacrifice (death on the cross) was the entire purpose of God incarnating on Earth in the first place. It's not simply that God became a man to teach humans how to live, but rather the whole point was this moment of self/human sacrifice. So of Jesus was who Christians believe he was, he wouldn't find it awkward at all.
Still super weird that a deity would need to sacrifice himself to himself, to forgive his own creation's offspring for the actions of their ancestors who acted in the way he created it to (not knowing right from wrong ) when it ate the forbidden fruit said deity put in an easily accessible location...
Well, when you put it like that...