this post was submitted on 13 Oct 2025
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Good news, they’ll never have to find out. Just as nobody needs to worry about the return of other Mesopotamian gods or their judgement, Jesus isn’t coming back.
It’s a good thing, too, because if they actually read their scripture, Jesus wasn’t the hippie socialist they like to think he was. According to the book (if you don’t cherry pick it), he was just as vengeful as his father, and was fine with all the terrible and unjust things done by every other incarnation of himself.
Modern Christians would absolutely fall short of his judgement. Maybe the Amish would be okay. Maybe.
Oh ye of little faith!
He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!
Are you the keymaster?
Yes... I'm a friend of his, he told me to meet him here.
Mind if I hang out? I brought some flowers and tranquilizers because I was expecting we would be going on a date.
You had me at tranquilisers.