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those of you with good skills to defuse a tense situation at the workplace, what advice can you give me? (linux.community)

submitted 18 hours ago by vestmoria@linux.community to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

8 comments fedilink hide all child comments

cross-posted from: https://linux.community/post/3626563

with people with good skills to defuse a tense situation at the workplace I mean everyone of you, because I suck at this and I'm sure anyone here is better than I am with this kind of stuff.

Tense situation is a karen yelling at one of my colleagues because her father's operation was postponed because I kid you not 4 doctors called in sick today. Rumor has it they're striking for better pay.

My instinctive response if someone starts behaving like a childish, snippy, entitled karen and acts passive-aggressively is to leave and ignore the person. In this case, the karen started ranting to my coworker, getting all snippy and wouldn't shut up. A rational conversation with people that irrational is impossible, so I kept doing my job, transferring a patient to another ward.

I never expected this colleague to tell me she felt let down because I didn't help her to deal with said karen. She said simply staying next to her would have sufficed. I told her I'd do that next time someone yells at her.

I consider myself lucky because I can leave to do my job but my colleague was trapped with this person.

My questions to you people with good social skills:

does it really help to simply stay next to my colleague, letting her do the talking while I do nothing but looking at the karen in the eye?

what if, each time the karen opens her mouth I repeat 'calm down' ad nauseam till she either tires, shuts up or walks away?

what do you say or do to support your coworkers while they're being verbally abused that somewhat defuses the situation?

what if avoiding conflict is a trait of mine to the point that I let people walk all over me?

how do you resist the urge to walk away? Situations like this trigger my fight or flight response.

what if I have to do this with a man and it gets physical? If somebody strikes me and I strike back, and I can guarantee you I'm striking back, I'm as guilty as the first aggressor.

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[–] Icytrees@sh.itjust.works 3 points 17 hours ago* (last edited 17 hours ago)

Depending on your workplace, there may be avenues for making complaints. If someone is being rude/unreasonable, it could help to direct them with something like: "I understand this is a difficult situation. We're trying to navigate it and will follow up in (time) at (contact.) If you have complaints about how we've handled this, here is the (name/number/e-mail.)" This redirects their energy and gives them a solid plan to follow. Sometimes people just like it when there's a plan.

Moving location can ease tension. You can say "Hi, I'm (name,) would you like to come over here and explain what's going on?"

If you avoid conflict, it could help to explain those feelings to your coworker and just ask them what you can do to help them (as you have.) Or discuss difficult scenerios they have to deal with and give you clear suggestions on what to do in (x) situation. People like plans, again.

If you work at a hospital and someone is legitimately having a meltdown over something, as in they're being completely irrational and may turn violent, can you call a psych nurse/doc/security?

Alternatively, I knew a security guard who always carried saltwater taffy in his pockets. If people got heated, he would throw it on the ground and go "Look! Candy!" He said it was effective 100% of the time.