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Heartbroken man realizes he only loved idea of fried egg on burger (theonion.com)

submitted 4 days ago by MHLoppy@fedia.io to c/theonion@sh.itjust.works

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After a disappointing lunch that shattered his romanticized view of the topping, heartbroken local man Vince Salazar stated Monday that he now understood he had only ever loved the idea of a fried egg on a hamburger. “I thought the sunny-side up burger upgrade was what I really wanted, but I’ve come to see that I fell for a glamorized flavor profile that was never going to make me happy,” said Salazar, who explained that he had fetishized what it would be like to have an ooey-gooey yolk poured over his beef patty and allowed to soak into his bun, never truly appreciating what made a burger great in the first place. [...]

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[–] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (3 children)

Sunny side up is too runny for this application, I prefer the egg fried hard on a burger, but failing that at least give it a flip and a few seconds.

[–] Jiggle_Physics@sh.itjust.works 6 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Over easy, with just enough time to make the yolk about the same viscosity as the condiment sauces.

[–] timbuck2themoon@sh.itjust.works 2 points 4 days ago

This person burgers.

[–] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 3 points 4 days ago

Finally found someone who agrees with me!!! I hate drippy burgers about as much as the skyscraper height 1000 topping ones.

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 2 points 4 days ago

Runny is the point though. Pair it with something pickled so the acid can counter the fattiness a bit, and you've got some great variety of textures. I'm not a sunny side up person though, so I'll do over easy and try to sneak in a little crunch on the edges (flirt with over medium, but don't let it go too far).

If you like over hard, do the classic fried egg where you slightly scramble the yolk so it's present everywhere on the egg. If you do the classic over hard with an in-tact yolk, you won't get yolk in every bite.