this post was submitted on 05 Oct 2025
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Can you elaborate what about your family could be interpreted as "not a big food family"? I just have so many ideas but none feel like how I'd immediately describe it. Because ultimately it sounds like a family that takes no pleasure or joy from a meal. Even sharing or preparing one together.
Sorry for the essay lol:
My dad was a workaholic and really only made much time for church, scouts, and Netflix nights with my brother and I when I was little, and my mom doesn't like and isn't particularly good at cooking (with a couple exceptions for certain dishes) plus she also worked full time, and as a kid I had an undiagnosed eating disorder that made me picky and food averse to a point of being a health risk (I was 5th percentile in weight at various points)
When we ate at home I ate very poorly because neither of them were great at cooking, so with both my parents being busy and wanting me to eat well, we ate out a ton, often tex-mex, cause that's what I'd consistently eat a reasonable amount of and we all liked it (my brother would happily eat just about anything lol).
We ate SO much moes lol. The people there all knew us, the manager was a sweetheart and would come chat with us at our table. My dad really liked shouting "welcome to moes!!!" With them when we walked through the door, and if they forgot or were quiet or whatever he'd give them a hard time about it lol. And then ask them for a veritable mountain of cilantro on his burrito ๐
Food just wasn't a huge part of my family life as a kid. My dad has gotten into grilling now that I'm an adult and makes amazing pulled pork, and his wife loves cooking. My mom is starting to get interested in cooking as she's now dating someone who for the first time (after my dad) doesn't cook as a huge pastime/hobby (her last couple boyfriends loved cooking and always wanted to cook for her). She recently even asked if she could borrow my copy of Salt Fat Acid Heat.
But as a kid, cooking and eating was a thing we needed to do but not a big shared experience that brought the family together. Especially once my parents separated when I was in middle-school- they were kinda dealing with their own shit and more or less just left my brother and I to figure out food for ourselves a lot of the time
But that's when I started learning how to cook myself, which ended up being the single biggest thing I could do to manage and work on my eating disorder, so it ultimately worked out okay :)
Food is much more relevant now to disparate members of my family, but it's individual interests now moreso than a shared family thing outside of holidays.
Hope this explains what I mean :)
(Not the original commenter)
I mean yeah that's pretty much it. My dad's cooking is unseasoned cucumber in a pan with some grocery-store veggie balls, which is not enough for 2-3 people. My mom's cooking is much better, but it's cooked more out of expectation than enjoyment. Eating together is expected but not enjoyed for its own merits afaik.
Desserts are the exception usually. Still, it messed up with my relationship to food, made it a lot worse than it could have been. Eating full meals with someone makes me gag, I have trouble eating normal quantities.