this post was submitted on 01 Oct 2025
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Therapists are treated like they’re supposed to be miracle workers. You’re experiencing some sort of mental health struggle? Just go see a therapist, because they know how to make your mind magically better. If it doesn’t work, it’s because you aren’t trying hard enough.
I spent years and thousands on therapy to realize that my problem is that I have zero support system, and have been always viewed as disposable by my family. I’m awkward, probably autistic, but was born female so never got diagnosed - just tortured in the “troubled teen industry.” I’m queer, so I’m not really a human being where I live.
Therapy doesn’t fix those things.
well.. therapy absolutely helps you figure out your needs as an autistic person (complete with a real diagnosis) and helps you develop safe coping strategies for this and being queer in a hostile place.
A good should help you build a real support system and protect your self-identity from harmful family, including forming a plan to leave them. And learning to love yourself, awkward as you may think you are.
I guess I see a lot of things in your post that a therapist could and should help with. I'm wondering if you had good ones, and what they were doing with you in that time.
Just as you wouldn't go to a surgeon or dentist and let them work without a treatment plan, you should agree on your goals and the modalities a therapist intends to use to get you there, at the beginning. And you can refer back to this to see if you're making progress or not.
Unfortunately like all healthcare now, you often have to research and become your own self advocate first. You should fire a therapist long before you spend thousands and years doing nothing. Bad therapists are out there, a lot of them. But good therapists can move mountains.
good/fitting therapy. Not all therapy is created equal. e.g. in my country there's a huge shortage of therapists qualified for adult autism diagnosis and treatment (well you can't really "treat" autism like you can treat depression, but y'know), and that's on top of the shortage of regular therapists.
But I guess that just moves the issue from the individual therapists to the general healthcare systems - therapy can deal with most mental issues in theory, it's just that real world healthcare systems often don't allow it to actually do that.
I swear there's three standard ways of being diagnosed with autism introspective madness, my family has autists, and I had a meltdown at 2 then threw a chair (this one's mine).
I once had to sit in the back of a 1991 Jeep Cherokee with nothing to do because it was so cold it sapped the power of everything but the car battery and the roads were all iced. I looked into the void and realized that I was simply staring at myself.
Yours was the very thoughtful contribution here that I needed today. I screenshotted one of the paragraphs.
Thank you. I needed that.
I’m not new to Lemmy anymore… but this place remains something of a mystery to me. At Reddit we met mostly A-holes… but here some how there are genuinely intelligent, kind, empathic individuals who share valuably and vulnerably from their experience with, I believe, the sole intention of helping perfect strangers.
Your comment here stood out to me so much that I did something I almost never do… I mosied into your contributions. I’ll share why: when certain folks here are so intelligent and spot on, I worry it’s AI. Forgive me. Why someone should be trying to run AI bots in the Fediverse is beyond me, but there, now you have peeked at a little of my own toxic narrative. I confess that I noticed you do not create original posts… choosing to drop insightful comments when interested. If I may, and I hope you will pardon my curiosity about an interesting person, how do you find yourself un compelled to ever make a post? Or do you have a lessermeancow account where you drop a meme every so often?
Don’t let this go to your head, but as I read the first comment you left me and others I read from your profile, I thought, this person was a star at Reddit and left when everyone else did. I’m glad you’ve embraced your mission.
I’ll say, I don’t share stuff for popularity — I share it because I want others to know about it or I want to know if they agree or disagree with it.
I’m a big fan of typewriters and I think sometimes about starting an r/typewriters here… that and r/idiocracy are what i miss most from Reddit.
Waning… you could be referring to the rest of vapid mainstream socials… and I agree that’s waning or already lost, but I have great faith in the Fediverse. You do not?
Yeah… seeing in the century time frame… I’m barely able to fathom six months or a year. I can see Lemmy growing at its current rate for a decade without becoming dog shit for certain.
There is a percentage of the mainstream getting fed up with dogshit. They are sniffing around.
Somehow you are making me feel more responsible for supporting this instance… how much are people donating?
I realize that was not your intention… and I don’t really use this place that much… but I am heartened by the thoughtfulness and generosity of the people that will share an old thread like this… Like… I don’t know you but I like your thinking. I often feel that I have a lot to learn from the folks here.
Do you go back to the system of interconnected BBS systems that allowed you to have a friend a thousand miles away and you could send emails back and forth? And play space trader? This is how far I go back. Pre-aol
I am a very curious person.
And like many of our fellow Lemmings, I want to envision a society that values human beings and puts people before profits.
I have been pushing back against enshitification for as long as I can remember.
You remember Web 1997 — that was the peak. Obviously we needed Wikipedia, so we can go as far forward as its birth but that overlaps with the corporatizing of the internet…
So what’s an old timer like me doing around here? Learning. Meeting cool people. Feeling like I’m doing one small act of resistance in a world that wants to turn everyone into this Matrix batteries.
So… I feel a lot of the time it’s me against the goddamn tech.
Case in point: two factor.
It’s another layer… another thing that can go wrong.
Had to upgrade my 2014 laptop and got a machine with finger print blah blah blah.
I refuse to use it.
The machine fights me via browsers.
I finally have to use incognito mode on almost every browser I open or I can’t get into my employers platform to do my fucking work.
I’m here to be around people who don’t like to be bullied by faceless megaliths.
And just the random cool people who will pursue a cool thread.
Yeah, the modern society teaches us that if we have any problems, be it health, financial or anything else, it's all fixable and we are supposed to fix it. Yet there is so much we don't have control over. Mental health problems are especially hard to tackle, as there are so few options, they are expensive, time consuming and often don't really help.
For over 4 thousand years, the most functional weirdos got pushed to the periphery and they sometimes used the freedom that ostracism gave them to discover self-directed cognitive/behavioral methods that profoundly changed their perspectives.
They might take a risk now and then, wander down to town and interact a bit. It sometimes resulted in a social interaction in which a well-placed individual was able to understand a bit of what the weirdo had learned. The weirdo would then experience a bit of social acceptance and some townsfolks might actually come visit the weirdo later.
Not usually though. Most often the weirdo would re-experience the initial rejection and they would go back to counting their breaths while sitting on a rock.
I have just recounted the most brief history of the study of yoga that is possible.
Also, mental health problems make it hard to actually get on that chair in the therapist's office even if there are opportunities!