Ethnic Minorities and People of Color

First one:

Many years ago I went to a town not far from where I live, walking around and exploring with my then-partner. It wasn't a small town but it wasn't the big city. It was pretty and it was nice to walk around in a novel area. But something was off.

After a while my partner said "let's go home".

Me: yeah, it's a pretty place and there's more to explore but something just feels weird and I'm kind of on edge. Not sure what it is.

Them: Really? I thought you'd figured it out already

Me: What?

Them: I'm white, you're not, and we are the only interracial couple I've seen here at all. People are looking at us, that's why I want to get out of here while there's still some light.

Me, a young dumbass: Oh that's why it feels weird. Well I don't like that but we have the right to walk around, nobody's going to mess with us and if they do I know how to fight, let's just keep exploring.

Them: Yeah, you think the cops here will let you get away with "they were racist and started it, it was self defense"? Ever heard of a sundown town?

Me: yeah but I'm not black.

Them: You think racists care? Come on, I grew up in the country, we're leaving.

And they grabbed my hand and led me to the car. We're in a blue state. This wasn't even the sticks, not really. Also come to think of it racists can be incredibly bad at guessing people's race, I've been called the N word by white people and been so dumbfounded because like... they clearly aren't sending their best and brightest to racist school to figure out which slurs to use.

**Second one: **

And I guess I can't blame it on just being sort of outside the city because another time we were in the city browsing separately and some employee just kept pestering me, specifically me, asking "can I help you find anything" which made it harder for me to browse and take in the sights to see if I wanted anything. Until that partner came by, said "they're with me, we're just browsing", and then stayed right by my side while we browsed for a while longer. I found a box of gluten free scone mix that looked really cool and wanted to buy it, but that partner whispered in my ear "just buy it online, I don't want to get anything from here, I'll tell you when we're outside, keep browsing and don't act suspicious." Well I didn't know what the deal was but if my partner asks me to play along in some subterfuge I do it no questions asked until such time as we can debrief. When we got a ways away, they explained.

Them: "that lady was being really racist to you so I don't think we should pay their business any money."

Me, oblivious: Racist? how? I think I'd have noticed.

Them: Come on, she followed you specifically to keep an eye on you. Not me. Not anyone else in the store. Specifically you. Why do you think that is? I mean you dress a little shabby but you don't look homeless, which is the only other reason someone would think you were going to steal stuff.

Me: ooooooh... Wow I am not great at noticing this kind of racism am I? It's so much tamer than what I'm used to that it doesn't even register.

Dang, processing out loud do I miss them even though it's been years since we split, and even longer since they were like that. They were way more based than I realized for a while before idk what liberal brainworms got them. Probably just the fact that they were, fundamentally, a white liberal, and as white liberalism moved hard to the right or its contradictions got exposed, that influenced them too. Well, and I suppose when tumblr banned porn and they quit it in protest there went their biggest source of regularly reading anything remotely progressive other than my own facebook posts.

Life is really weird isn't it.