Tinder sort of just randomly sends you people after 3 days of being like "there is no one in your area". That's fine because in my area, it's nothing but tradwives, country music, and fishing profiles.
I tried Veggly because a super bonus point is finding someone to chill with that is also vegan. Well, there's like 4 people in my area on there. Sort of figured but lol anyway. There are a few more if you check like 500 miles away but not quite looking for the nomadic life just yet.
Tried Feeld, and no. Just no. I'm open to various relationship dynamics but that ain't it.
Tried Hinge, it was mostly dead until I changed my gender back to male and put that I'm only looking for women. Feels a bit disingenuous but whatever. But again in my area, I keep getting Christian tradwives and shit.
And if you find someone that seems nice on these dumb apps, they have to like you back before they can communicate with you. But... but... you can spend $149.99 to see who liked you. Not predatory at all. Just me heading back to the dating slop machine to toss more money at it to see who likes my ugly ass.
But like I've seen a few that I genuinely liked but will never be able to contact since it's all behind a paywall.
Saturday evening I matched on Tinder with 3 people. First one, said hey and they unmatched, second one I waited for them to say hey, then replied and they unmatched. 3rd one flatout ghosted me.
I got a "like" notification from a random old dude yesterday on Tinder but my profile isn't even set for interested in men.
I redid my entire Hinge and Tinder profile like 3 times each.
On Bumble I got a like notification and actually spent $25 to see who it was. She was cute, seemed nice. So we talked a bit, she gave me her number and we talked on the phone some. We talked a bit about our own messed up lives. She had breast cancer, which isn't a dealbreaker, she's ND as fuck, but so am I. We went on a date. It was awkward. First her pics on Bumble were from like 15 years ago. The whole date was awkward, but towards the end we decided to go for a walk and the conversation was just about exes. Which is never a good sign. Then my ex actually fucking called me because the kids wanted to show me their Legos. That caused me to spiral all over again. So still processing the divorce. Went home and got trashed and realized that I'm not gonna be a good fit for this person that I went on the date with. She needs someone that can take care of her. I can't even take care of myself.
I'm probably done with even trying to find someone that fits me. I'm too old to start over. This city sucks for trying to find anyone remotely close to my personality.
This shit is just fucking depressing.
Thanks for coming to my rouxTALK.
Edit: I'm buried in the comments but at work rn. I'll try to get to the rest tonight. I honestly didn't think this would gain much conversation since it was met to be me screaming in the void. โค๏ธ๐ค
My dating app experience as a "conventionally attractive woman who is attracted to men" has been, getting presented with a seemingly endless stream of men, most of whom are afraid or unable to show any modicum of what they are really like (by the very nature of the medium) or make any kind of move. Those who are able to go out of their way to make dates happen (and it really is these people who stand out because it's impossible to be proactive with that when you have one million matches) are the people who think going on one date means it time to have sex now. It's epic.
Being attracted to men seems like a curse but then again I'm not having much luck with sapphic T4T dating, either. I don't get invested in any match because I know they'll just ghost me at some point, which makes actually connecting with people impossible. The only person I've "dated" since starting my transition was a friend that became more over time and it was great until they decided that they actually didn't want emotional or physical intimacy (still fucking crying about that one). I've had a hookup with another transfem but we were so wildly incompatible that I think we were both bored (I know I was). Shit sucks all around. People are either afraid of being even a little vulnerable or just incredibly shallow and only want sex.
I also have done some t4 dating, but the straight kind, and trans guys have the same problems cis guys do, perhaps even magnified. Nobody wants to work (be emotionally vulnerable and available) anymore!! All guys born after 1994 can't share feelings, all they know is charge they phone, have sex, be hairy, and lie!!!
At least they know how to charge they phone. My last partner lost their phone multiple times per day and never charged it anyway. It was kind of cute, though. I would find it and they would always say, "What would I do without you?" Well, I don't know how they're doing but I'm real fucked up without them.
Every day I wish I was aroace because then I would be free of this all-consuming desire to love and be loved.
Nah the pain of loss and heartbreak is worth it for sure!! Better to have loved and lost than to have.... You know.. The thing!!
Me loving: Haha fuck yeah!!! Yes!!
Me grieving: Well this fucking sucks. What the fuck.
The cure for heartbreak is [unintelligible] โ
This is a super relevant and kind of ironic comment. She hooked up with 2 different guys last week and I'm sitting here trying to find something casual and slow.