this post was submitted on 25 Aug 2025
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100% this. But also, you can make your own third space by inviting friends over and asking them to bring friends. I met most of my serious girlfriends at various house parties. Friends of friends are somewhat pre-vetted.
You have made one major assumption here which I feel cannot be overlooked.
Gotta make friends before dating. Having no friends is a big red flag.
I do get a bit tired of
"There are no third spaces! I can't meet anyone! Nobody will love me!"
"Have you tried leaving the house?"
"That's literally impossible."
Well to do that all my friends would have to un-OD on heroin lol, the opioid epidemic did a real number on my city. I never did it myself, but for me to invite them over I'd need a shovel or a Ouija Board, and idk who they'd bring but I'm not sure I wanna find out!
"Damn Steve, when did you become friends with Moloch and Baal? And why'd you bring Ea-Nasir?!"
My only living in town friend is moving in about a year, too. And if he had anyone he could set me up with I'd know lol, known him for 15yr.
Yeesh. Sounds like you need a new set of friends or a new town. I wonder how much of the loneliness is down to loads of people living in really sparse areas.
Yeah well y'know, I work, then I'm too tired to go out, can't afford bars anymore and if I could I'm still too old for that shit.
I do go out to some naturey places when the weather permits (of course it's been hotter than the sun until like this week), but it's not like a naturey meet up I just smoke weed and read a book next to the creek, and look at frogs and shit.
Furthermore, I don't know how these people who say "go to X or Y" even find out that X or Y is happening locally, and where/when. Newspapers? Those still around?
Local newspapers are still a thing, so are bulletin boards at city hall or whatever cultural center you have. (I've seen event listings at bars, libraries, near a fountain, wherever stuff gets hosted)
Word I'll look around, thanks. I assumed newspapers was a joke I was making haha, I thought those were dead for that kind of thing by now.