this post was submitted on 29 Jul 2025
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It began a few years ago. I've always been a light sleeper, and turning on the light, even more a moment, seriously disrupts my sleep. This problem seems to be getting worse with age. I could literally wake up at 2am and not fall back asleep for the entire night. I really tried to pee standing up with the light off, like use passive sonar and aim via sound. I tried keeping the stream where the sound is splashy, but my hit rate was 50%, which is clearly unacceptable. So one night I'm like fuck it I'm gonna pee like my gf, and I never went back.

It evolved to just laziness. Aiming takes concentration, sitting is peaceful. And no matter how much I try, when doing a standing pee, there is often a spot or two I need to wipe up later. Or even worse, I don't notice the spot until the next day 😭.

I might continue to pee standing up, as normal, when in public toilets, as I can't trust strangers to not get the seat dirty.

Pic unrelated. I don't know what the Germans are doing.

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[–] godlessworm@hexbear.net 14 points 5 days ago (3 children)

i only pee standing up so i can look down upon the toilet and it knows we are not equals.

[–] huf@hexbear.net 2 points 4 days ago (1 children)

this is backwards, the toilet doesnt need you but you need the toilet. the toilet indeed knows you're not equals. it is better than you and holds your fate in the palm of its hand.

[–] godlessworm@hexbear.net 2 points 4 days ago

the old master/slave dialectic. i make sure the toilet knows i could be pissing or shitting anywhere and CHOOSE to bless the toilet with my waste rather than using for example, a litter box or a bottle.

i put the cat’s litter box right next to the toilet so the toilet knows how good it has it.

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