this post was submitted on 27 Jul 2025
57 points (83.5% liked)

Ask Lemmy

33710 readers
1223 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

Has the system finally cracked? Have the wealthy and powerful simply taken so much leaving the rest of us grasping at our very survival, easily manipulated into turning against other groups and even each other in an attempt to make sense of it all? Is society destined to destroy itself or descend into eternal servitude to our masters? How do we get out of this spiral of madness?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] insomniac_lemon@lemmy.cafe 2 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I don't live in that world. I have too many issues for any of that to work, but even if that weren't the case I probably couldn't travel to wherever would be better for me.

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 0 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Imma break out some tough love on ya.

I have too many issues

That's learned helplessness, loser talk. "Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen." That quote is about an attitude, not intrinsic qualities or abilities.

couldn't travel to wherever would be better

More failure talk. You make do with what's in front of you. Dragging your body through space isn't going to change you. Greener grass and whatnot.

I'm no psychologist, no idea how to break you out of this failure mode, but you really need help to cut that shit out. You got one shot at life, no more, go make shit happen for yourself. And if you're already typing a reply full of excuses, you already lost.

[–] SinAdjetivos@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago

So your advice to people who can't afford rent, work a fulltime job and have just had their tent and all their possessions thrown in a dumpster for the second time this month is what exactly?

Do you advise someone who is incarcerated that if they simply ignore the bars they will no longer be there?

[–] insomniac_lemon@lemmy.cafe 2 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (2 children)

Ah yes, walk it off. Very helpful. Do you think real issues don't exist? Especially in the US now?

"If you feel like shit, just grind bro". Doing what, exactly? Lots of options are oversaturated or having layoffs. Rent is a racket and there are people who work full-time "essential" jobs (like professors and nurses) living in their car. I cannot even afford nor do I want a car, and if I was living outside where I'm at I'd be at risk for heat stroke because my body cannot sweat enough for even mild heat. Also, I am nearly nowhere.

I can prepare and sauté vegetables, sweep, carry things, do various computer things. Is that enough to live off of? Even at my best, probably not! Could I maybe work something out with people? I'm a shut-in with the social skills of a rock, so that's not likely either. EDIT: forgot to say bike riding, but again that's also difficult with heat

Have I already lost? Yeah maybe, but the issues (both internal and external) are more than excuses. It if got me out of here I'd be a shitty cook on a boat (I also probably can't swim, no ID/passport) but it doesn't work like that anymore. Solo projects and crowd-funding are just as delusional.

[–] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago (1 children)

You've been dealt a really rough hand. The way it should work is that your community would see that you mean well and want to contribute, and support an ongoing effort to make that happen.

We don't live in the world of should, but imo you do need a community of any kind. I don't think I'm exaggerating when I say it should be your top priority to make at least one IRL friend and making the absolute most of it. They don't have to be perfect, but they do have to reciprocate the friendship.

Once you have one, it's easier to make more. Everything is easier with a community. Keep a journal, write about your efforts, write about the people you might try to talk to. Try anything. There's a loneliness epidemic out there, so chances are good there are people just like you who are waiting for someone to make the first move. I hope you find each other.

[–] insomniac_lemon@lemmy.cafe 1 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Again, going on the trail was my idea of travel/meeting people... though even when I'm able* to ride I don't see much around here. I suspect the people I'd fit with are not here, or even if they are they are at home (or just not on the trail).

* 300+ miles so far (over a few years), admittedly that's mostly ~1-2mi trips to a bridge/bench area when I can't plan anything better, and my most realistic trip besides that is just to a local grocery store to buy old bananas and maybe some produce to fry.

[–] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 1 points 20 hours ago

I should have been clearer that I totally think that's the correct thing to be doing. Sorry for any confusion, I think you're on the right track.

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 0 points 4 days ago (1 children)

And there we have it. The predicted list of excuses.

Can you not see how making excuses is no way to live the one life you'll ever get?! Can you imagine a counselor saying, yeah, that's normal, you should probably give up and die, soonest best?!

I've had a lot going both for me and against me in this life. But I never fucking said "can't". I've lost much, won much, but I've never rolled up in a ball and cried that I was helpless. Your attitude is so self-defeating it makes me sad. You need counseling and don't seem to know it.

[–] insomniac_lemon@lemmy.cafe 1 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

I do what I can, I have my ups and downs too. You did better, good for you... maybe if we swapped you could fix my life, or maybe it's just an anecdote and there is no way to tell.

Yeah, I know I need a lot of things (including healthcare and therapy) but healthcare is a mess here especially rural and if I could use any programs now (especially with waiting lists etc) I expect said access will be cut before needed follow-ups are done.

You can pin the blame on mentality all you like, but it doesn't make the country any less of multiple unmitigated disasters.

[–] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 1 points 4 days ago (1 children)

What a mess, I'm sorry. Can I just say that guy doesn't speak for me? Let me know if you're not sick of the conversation.

[–] insomniac_lemon@lemmy.cafe 1 points 4 days ago

Go for it if you want, especially if it's (mostly) in-reply to my higher-level comment.

In hindsight I guess I should've depersonalized my comment more or just abstracted it completely (yeah that is the dream or something).