disabled

I think I have a tendency to just withdraw socially in reaction to stress so as to avoid future situations entirely

I tend to do this as well, but moreso once burnout really started to catch up to me several years ago. I didn't even know it was burnout until reading Dr. Price's book and getting diagnosed. It's helped me kind of re-frame a lot of the internalized ableism I'd been carrying around, as well as help me understand a lot about what defines the disorder and how to better adapt to a neurotypical world. If you do get around to reading it I hope it proves beneficial.

it's kind of impossible to explain to someone what it feels like to be a child with sensory overload and have clothing 'hurt' you to the point that you refuse to wear it

I feel this in my soul, comrade. Sensory overload can be so hard to communicate and navigate. I've found that scents, foods, sounds, etc. can cause extreme dysfunction for me if I'm not careful.

I don't know that context to the specific scenario is helpful.

My apologies, I was definitely trying to keep it as broad as possible without making too many assumptions, so I appreciate your explanation.

It's sort of an inescapable and ever present anguish that is constantly fed, plus the vystopia

Thank you for sharing this, I wasn't familiar with ODD but I can empathize with a lot of what you shared.

I'm vegan! You taught me a new word, and I have felt this more and more recently the older I get. When I originally made the changes because of health issues, I ended up learning a lot about cooking, the horrors of where our food comes from, and that a lot of my food sensitivities were actually stemming from dairy and meat intolerance. My slop comment was a little harsh. I think I was trying to express my opinion that a lot of people aren't in a place where change is always viable, since we are still subject to a very dystopian capitalist nightmare that we grow accustomed or adjusted to whether we're trying to or not. Like with veganism, I try to remind myself not everyone has the privilege of food security or housing that allows for ingredients or tools to prepare certain foods. I don't disagree with you at all, in fact I relate to a lot of what you shared about feeling surrounded by the constant reminders of everything wrong with the world. It can get exhausting, especially when big emotions and feeling a sense of justice is so common to those on the spectrum. I can't remember where I read it, but I've seen references to people with ASD often displaying a very strong sense of morality with the added benefit of not being swept up into social norms, and that it can cause additional stress if we don't find outlets and means of regulating around it. Organizing seems like a great way to address those feelings though! That and finding others to share experiences with.

on the relationship part

It sounds like you've been fair and considerate to your needs as well as those you were interacting with, which is really all you can do, right? I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting something different, or something more from relationships. It's awesome you have a supportive partner, too. Sometimes one person can really make the difference. You deserve a safe space to express yourself and be treated fairly, I hope we can continue to provide that here.