70
What is smth toxic in a relationship you should not like but did/do?
(lemmy.dbzer0.com)
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
this post was submitted on 04 Sep 2023
70 points (88.0% liked)
Asklemmy
43760 readers
1134 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- !lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
I will both lie and avoid to head off conflict. I would rather lie my face off than make my SO get angry at me; he tends to get angry about really petty shit so this is just me surviving how I can. I also keep him from some things about myself (really innocent things like that I go to church) simply because he'd become angry and try to stop it. Sometimes I feel like five different people, that there are parts of me for every different section of my life, the work me, the married me, the daughter me, the online me, and because I have to tiptoe around him a lot I feel kind of fragmented. . My therapist says this is common in trauma victims to feel like they have to be several different people. It's disjointed and unsatisfactory.
Oh there's smth toxic here, but I don't think it's the lying. And I think you know that. Also, do you enjoy the lying?? Doesn't sound like.
Not to make quick assumptions, but if your partner is influencing your life so negatively on such a regular basis, perhaps the relationship isn't a great idea.
The fragmented feeling I understand, I think most people have a different personality for different groups. Good luck with therapy tho, hope you're doing well.
I hate the lying. I don't lie in the rest of my life under other circumstances. I avoid it as much as possible, but if it'll save me from being yelled at I'll lie all I need to.
The relationship is absolutely not a great idea, but unfortunately for financial reasons I can't make any changes. I dream of the life I'll have when I'm free, and how I'll pursue what I want instead of just working two jobs to stay afloat, while he has routine in my face temper tantrums about stupid shit; tonight it was a piece of spoiled fruit
I'm so sorry. Please protect yourself in every way you can, let your family and friends know you need help. You've got atleast one stranger rooting for you here❤️. Good Luck.
Its a shame the positions financial stressors can put us in.
Thank you. The last several weeks have been pretty awful, I keep trying to reset things towards a good path but every week it's some petty crap. I'm really weary. I appreciate your kindness.