Transfem
A community for transfeminine people and experiences.
This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.
Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.
- Please follow the rules of the lemmy.blahaj.zone instance.
- Bigotry of any kind will not be tolerated.
- Gatekeeping will not be tolerated.
- Please be kind and respectful to all.
- Please tag NSFW topics.
- No NSFW image posts.
- Please provide content warnings where appropriate.
- Please do not repost bigoted content here.
This community is supportive of DIY HRT. Unsolicited medical advice or caution being given to people on DIY will result in moderator action.
Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.
Some helpful links:
- The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
- Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
- LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
- Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
- TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
- TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.
Support Hotlines:
- The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
- TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
- LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
- 988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.
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I went through all of this too, and transition is weird in that it simultaneously decreased and increased my dysphoria.
When I first transitioned I wasn't bothered by my deadname at all, but after a few months it really started to bother me and I even started to feel weird that I had ever been called that. It's like the way I thought about the name had been rationalized and seen as "genderless" and just "me", and only once I started going by a different chosen name did I have the space to see my deadname more objectively - the way it is gendered and used in a gendered way, and how poorly that fit "me".
Also, yeah, I paid little attention to my voice before I transitioned and once I transitioned and started paying attention to my voice for practical reasons like wanting to pass for safety, I suddenly realized how horrible my voice sounds and how it isn't "my" voice, etc.
On the other hand, there were also lots of moments of gender euphoria happening - dressing the way I've always wanted in public, and integrating as a woman socially was like a dream come true, a dream I had buried and suffocated and tried to kill but which somehow miraculously came to life anyway.
From what I've read these are common experiences - I know it seems weird for dysphoria to suddenly appear, but I think as coping strategies like denial and repression melt away, there is some instability as you pay more attention to your body and details that before you successfully ignored.
This is a challenging part of transitioning, but all I can say is that repression really is worse than transitioning and that it does (slowly) get easier. Also, the mental health improvements and joy that come from transitioning are a lot more than I ever could have expected.