this post was submitted on 29 May 2025
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Every time I see this meme format I'm a little frustrated and sad.
A long time ago, Cosmo did a bunch of studies on dating app users. It published a bunch of their results and people have been miscounting it ever since to serve their assumptions.
On dating apps, when one woman matches with one man, 90% of women match with 10% of men. This is largely a result of the app populations, which were and are mostly men. Unless you're okay with your girl dating ~9 men at once, dating apps will only match a small percentage of men, because that's how maths works.
When asked to judge dating app profile pictures (no other profile information), women judged men's pictures lower than men judged women's. This is as much a factor of the profile pictures we choose as anything else. In addition, men's match preferences had a strong relationship with their attraction ranks. Whereas for women the relationship was weaker, and the content of the profile was a larger deciding factor. But people hear about the judging profile photos thing and go 'women are more critical of appearance than men are -> women are shallow'.
When asked 'what age are [men/women] most atteactive', women tended to answer close to their own age (with a drop off around 50). Most men said 20-25. But most men saying still typically matched close to their own age. Much like the women with profile pictures, they were trying to answer a direct question with what they believed was a critical, scientific, 'objective' answer, rather than reflecting their own dating preferences. But now women fear (or believe) that any men will not find them attractive as they age.
There's a lot of interesting things in those findings, if you acknowledge it is specifically measuring dating app users, had nuanced findings, and was not scientifically robust in the first place. It's broad conclusions DO NOT apply to the population as a whole.
And I ache a little each time I see its conclusions reduced and misused to justify misanthropy. Much like the myth of 'the alpha wolf', it's misinformation that refuses to die.
Great breakdown, thanks