this post was submitted on 28 Aug 2023
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Im doing okay I think. I started teaching English to foreign students this summer. And it's alright, the work is draining, and follows me home too. So not a fan of that. Also while the pay is good 44 bucks an hour. That does not include the hour or 3 it takes me to build a lesson. So it turns out I'm making about the same as I've been making at the grocery store. I enjoy not being physically exhausted after a day of teaching. But I am now mentally exhausted instead and kind of just watch youtube for 3 hours before falling asleep. And this was just teaching 4 times a week. The full time teachers are teaching 5 days and for 5 or 6 hours a day. I can't imagine having the energy to do that.
So I'm switching back to working mostly at the grocery store starting in a few weeks. I get paid what I work and when I'm at home I don't need to think about work.
I don't know what the right choice is. I feel like a weak willed wimp who can't just suck it up and commit to working hard enough to make the teaching thing work. I feel like the grocery store job is going to break my body eventually though.
I just want to put in some work, make enough to provide food for myself and my significant other. And I'm just feeling like no matter what I do I'm running to stay in place or falling behind. This is all completely ignoring that I often feel like my teaching is completely terrible and I'm going to ruin someone's education, but I think that is just imposter's syndrome.
Thanks for giving me a place to vent this out.