Ask Lemmy
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I can't shout loud enough for people 900 miles away to hear me
Not sure about 900 miles, but you can avoid shouting by.. learning sign language and lip reading and get a telescope.
learning morse code so you can use blinking light. learning smoke signalling.
Get a pigeon or 2.
Practice, practice, practice.
Buy a plane ticket (but buying a ticket offline the day of is suspicious)
I only buy my plane tickets at the airport on the day of travel with handfuls of cash pulled from a carrier bag while wearing a blood-stained shirt. I punctuate that start of every sentence by slamming my first on the desk and the end of the sentence with "goddamnit".
I bet you aren't picky. Just the next flight out of the state is fine.
Why would you think that?
SLAM "If I do upgrade to Business, will I be able to recline my seat without interrupting the person behind's meal?" SLAM "And is The Grand Budapest Hotel still available onboard or do I need to download it first, goddamnit?"
I did