this post was submitted on 23 Apr 2025
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"Cold-calling" women for dates in public is kinda sketchy in general.
Put the effort in to getting to know them first. If you are at a point in your life where asking random strangers for a date is your best game, you need to work on yourself.
This isn't bashing you for not being handsome/pretty, or fit, or rich. You need to go out and do things that you enjoy, try new things, and find partners who enjoy the same things, then see if they are open to dating.
Also, mutual friends are the best for getting you a date with someone. It worked for me, and it can work for you!
Fuck me. This is the best piece of advice I ever heard that every single person needs to get in their heads.
Just don't forget the other part. Working on yourself does not mean making yourself more appealling to your desired partner pool, it means making yourself happy with life outside of your romantic pursuits.
Yeah, that's the point I always make. If you don't have social groups that expose you to new people in a safe, non-sexual environment, you have to work that out first before dreaming of having a relationship. Just go play some boardgames, join a language school, take music classes, join a rec league for your favorite sport. Hell, if absolutely necessary, why not join a Discord server about stuff you're interested in? I've met kind and available girls playing Valorant, even.
Even if these guys somehow manage to get a few dates going with someone they "picked up", won't they just run out of things to talk about if there is nothing but work and social media going on in the guy's life?
I mean, a date can be a pretty safe and tame event. It's how you might get to know someone.
You shouldn't expect anything romantic out of such a date, and certainly makes sense to meet at the venue and the venue be very open and visible. But to say you can't even offer a chance to get to know each other without getting to know each other is a bit over the top.
Better chances in interest themed events and activities to have a promising match of course, but there has to be some opportunity to get acquainted.
There is a huge difference between "you're pretty and that's the only thing I know about you, want to go on a date?" And "Hey, we share a few similar interests and you are pleasant to talk to, and attractive, would you like to go on a date?"
You should have a baseline beyond simply looking at them. A date is where you get to know them beyond that baseline. If it's a stranger, it isn't unreasonable to say you should have at least a few minutes of conversation before asking them out.