this post was submitted on 16 Apr 2025
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See as an ADHDer what I don't understand is if not for us - what do neurotypicals talk about and how do they do it? Like when medicated I don't feel compelled to "overshare".
But then where there used to be a long "rant" about something I deeply enjoy and am interested in, I'd just say nothing instead, or something like "nothing much", which also got weird reactions and seemed kinda anti-social. So I started occasionally doing it again and people seem to enjoy it.
But not all people, and definitely not all the time. Don't get me wrong it's not like I cut people off to talk about my shit, if they share, I share, in most social situations I don't initiate conversations and speak only really when spoken to.
So I don't get this, what would I actually talk about to anyone if talking about myself is infodumping?
Food and weather? Sure, but that's one time, maybe twice, but coworkers you talk to every day? Your actual friends/acquaintances?
Doesn't it get old for them?
Why would anyone even talk to anyone at all if it's just pointless bullshit like "oh you also consume warm animal flesh alongside vegetables for sustinence and dopamine? Wow truly incredible! I'd never heard of this, now that's exciting! What's crazy is - I do it too."
I don't want to go all "heckin' normies" but I honestly wonder if the few people who do complain about me oversharing or infodumping something I'm interested in are honestly just jealous that they don't got anything half as interesting to talk about and that I can be so happy and excited just talking about fairly boring things, and even make other people vaguely interested, if only as a matter of trivia.
My S.O. is an ADHDer as well. She and I just infodump our interests on each other, we are polite and ask follow up questions so the other person feels heard, then relate it to something of mutual interest and from then on decide on an activity.
That's the most socializing form of socializing I've ever done honestly, and idk how else I would do it with anyone close or otherwise.
I love information dumps.
I also seem to be the rare internet user who does not hate small talk. I've never really seen a problem with it and now thanks to the internet the one problem I see is "unpopular amongst internet users, may make them unhappy." Wonder if this is an internet/real life split, or if everyone but me hates it but smiles and pretends in real life so I think more people are fine with it than actually are. I guess I interpret it as a person sharing their genuine thoughts. Sometimes I look outside and think "it's a nice day!" so why wouldn't other people vocalize their thoughts amongst the same lines? I guess I see it as a common shared experience and attempt to connect over something "easy" like that since a lot of people will agree that yes, it is a nice day. (If you don't, some might take offense but I'd love to hear why you disagree—invites more discussion!) Then again, I'm also an extrovert, so I'm just like "Yes! Social interaction!!!"
Stuff like this, not sharing in a lot of common complaints about neurotypical interaction, makes me feel too neurotypical for the neurodivergents, but I also do have ADHD and autism and my fair share of social struggles so I'm also too neurodivergent for the neurotypicals. For what it's worth if I know you don't like small talk I'll try to remember and accommodate that.
100% agree... I feel you are describing me!