chat

8368 readers

205 users here now

Chat is a text only community for casual conversation, please keep shitposting to the absolute minimum. This is intended to be a separate space from c/chapotraphouse or the daily megathread. Chat does this by being a long-form community where topics will remain from day to day unlike the megathread, and it is distinct from c/chapotraphouse in that we ask you to engage in this community in a genuine way. Please keep shitposting, bits, and irony to a minimum.

As with all communities posts need to abide by the code of conduct, additionally moderators will remove any posts or comments deemed to be inappropriate.

Thank you and happy chatting!

founded 3 years ago

MODERATORS

EmmaGoldman@hexbear.net

ZoomeristLeninist@hexbear.net

SexUnderSocialism@hexbear.net

PaX@hexbear.net

Sulv@hexbear.net

My Recommendations Always Get Ignored (lemmy.ml)

submitted 1 week ago by Tatar_Nobility@lemmy.ml to c/chat@hexbear.net

28 comments fedilink hide all child comments

No one ever reads or watches what I recommend (that's a lie, one person does). I usually don't expect others to engage with my interests, I wouldn't hold a grudge if they don't. But it upsets me when this occurs in the event of exchanging recommendations with someone who ends up not reciprocating. This has happened on four separate occasions with different people. While I'd actually read the book, give my opinion and genuinely engage with them, they would postpone doing so and constantly make excuses until they think I've forgotten. One time I made a promise with a friend to watch a series of their choice and vice versa, guess who did and who didn't (“My internet connection is so bad” you're literally watching other shows as we speak...)

This begs the question: are my recommendations this bad? I'd like to put that to the test. Here are the recommendations in question:

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] LaughingLion@hexbear.net 4 points 1 week ago

Some things I've learned about recommending media is mostly learning to find the connection. Two of your recommendations here are anime, for instance. In my experience, people are either into it or they are not (I'm not). So you can recommend anime to me for days and I'm going to politely put it off. I'm sure it's good but it is just not for me.

Another one is that books are very personal and the taste for fiction especially is something that is hard get people to get into. I can recommend good books for days but what do I know about your preferences for certain tropes or archetypes, pacing, style of story-telling, and so on. I tend to avoid recommending books without knowing deeply what the other person is into and then I try to keep my recommendation somewhat safe; nothing too long. So if you recommended me that Azazeel book I'd like that it is short but the subject matter? Yeah I could not me any less interested in it whatsoever. I'm sure the book is good for people who like that sort of thing but based on it's description I'm not going to dedicate hours of reading to it.

As for movies I don't really watch them so I can't help there all I can say is I tell people regularly I don't watch many movies and I haven't seen hardly any of the Marvel movies (zero Avengers stuff) and yet they insist that I should and recommend me their favorite Marvel movie. Look, I'm not unaware of their existence, I'm just not interested. So I nod and say, "maybe I'll check it out if I find the time" knowing full well I have no intention to. You know what I like to watch? Historical Chinese dramas with my wife. You know what most people are uninterested in? That. So I don't recommend anything unless they ask because insisting someone watch an 80 episode series that takes place in the restrictive Forbidden City of the Qing Dynasty in a language that will require subtitles the entire time is a big ask.