But the thing is - if they actually view your work as good, both in terms of quality and quantity, then the disjoint is the result of a comparison between your real self and some iteration of your ideal self.

Feeling bad about that is just an exercise in self-abuse. Minimally, you do enough that they see your value, and that’s enough, innit? Although, ideally, it shouldn’t matter at all what they think, but that’s easier said than done.

[–] Szyler@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

Yeah. Some imposter syndrome in there for sure. Years of "you can do even better (at school etc) if you just apply yourself" is hard to overcome.

I'm working on the negative self talk. I intelectualize a lot, so logically I know I do a good job, but I don't feel it. So when I get 'attaboys it makes that disconnect very conscious, and I'd feel better if they just didn't say anything.