this post was submitted on 22 Mar 2025
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Nice idea, but Teslas are jampacked with cameras.
Which will show a masked figure of weirdly indeterminate height (possible wearing hidden plateau shoes) setting fire to it in the middle of the night, how curious 🤔
the cops will never single me out with my super discreet Tesla stompers
*evil villain laugh*
and the looong hat
Or just do ot old school like they did in medieval Europe with flaming arrows while out of sight of the cameras
I wonder what fire does to the SD card on which the camera footage is stored?
(Its only uploaded to tesla servers when the car is connected to the internet)
Are you able to disconnect a Tesla from the Internet? You could forget your Wi-Fi network, but basically every car made after 2015 has an LTE modem
be a shame if it caught fire while you were camping in a remote location with no cell service
These gosh darn libs came out of the woods wearing masks and carrying molotovs and afterwards they gave me lentil beans and rice and a rainbow flag it was miserable
Signal jammers?
National parks have squat for cell coverage.
My parents have brought a new car and the internet connection thing is super unreliable. It'll say it's in a dead zone when it's just parked in the driveway and I have full signal bars on my phone.
Sometimes claims not to have a signal when it's in the local supermarket car park and the supermarket car park literally has a cell tower in it.
Chainlink blanet'll do it
They're always connected via cell service, though.
That said, I'm pretty sure the antenna is stored in the right-side mirror, so if something were to happen, like that mirror becoming suddenly disconnected from the body of the car, it might disrupt that connection.
Let the battery die, then do the deed.
0% battery isn’t actually 0%. There’s still plenty of juice to run all the cameras, cell, etc.
Not even close to enough. Teslas turn all of that off at 20%. Running enough of the system to capture and process video takes about 500-1000w, so around 1% battery every hour or two.
Edit: derp, it's 300-500w.
If that's true, that is very horribly engineered. 500-1000 watts holy shit
I'd say it's pretty reasonable. Six to seven cameras, the cellular modem, and the computer system running for processing the video for motion and tamper detection, alerting the owner, and being on standby for remote commands.
Edit: I was wrong, it's about 300-500w.
So a full car battery goes to 20% in just 4 days??
I was wrong, it's about 300-500w. I own a Tesla (yes, I know) and it goes down around 8-10% a day if it's on "sentry mode" and not plugged in. That's not typically an issue as there's rarely a reason to have it in sentry mode long term somewhere that it doesn't have power, usually just a few hours at most if we're out, so it'll lose 1-3%.