I live in a city with more than 100,000 people and do not at all feel safe biking on the major roads, which are the main option for most travel as their is poor side road connectivity.

Have a look at Strava, Garmin, RidewithGPS "heatmaps" and see where other cyclists are riding. You may be surprised at the creative routes people use to avoid major roads (which I also tend to avoid completely).

A lot of the new developments I see have painted bicycle gutters

That's a real damn shame. I live in Oshawa, and all our north development has full multi-use paths, as well as bike lanes. Whitby has been adding mutli-use paths and separated (but painted) bike lanes like crazy, which have been great to ride on. Ajax is also well ahead of the curve. All three municipalities have < 150,000 people

I'd suggest having your municipal or regional active transportation committee follow up with your city to see what the hell is going on with their planning. Sounds like nobody who's in a position of influence is putting cycling on their priority list.

but until it feels easier and more pleasant than driving we won’t see mass shifts into cycling.

I have to reiterate that driving is still more likely to get someone killed, as is inactivity (from driving). So we have to put things into perspective. There's often a gap between perceived barriers and actual barriers, so some of the perceived barriers disappear once someone is riding regularly. Some new barriers may pop up, especially after a negative experience, but often times cycling strengthens our resilience and ability to adapt.

I'm not suggesting that someone bike on objectively dangerous roads or piss-poor bike gutters (which probably have parked cars in them anyway), but cycling requires different route planning, and there is often good cycling infrastructure that's unknown to the average driver, which becomes "discovered" once someone takes up cycling.

Heck, we have an intersection around here that I'd use for at least 75% of my rides because there are bike lanes in all directions, which has been completely closed off due to construction all summer. This has forced me to seek alternate routes. And while my first few detours were on less-than-ideal roads, I've since found alternate routes that are even more efficient (and arguably safer) than the bike routes I was taking.

I would urge anyone who's interested in cycling to connect with a local club or group to ask what the actual experience of cycling is. I'd hate for someone to not take up cycling in their city, because they don't *feel * it's safe, even when it could be.