this post was submitted on 20 Feb 2025
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I'm going to go with that horrendous, non-absorbent, 1/8th ply toilet paper that gets stocked in public and office bathrooms.
I'm on Team Bidet now, so it doesn't bother me as much as it once did... but the stuff should not exist.
I'm guessing that one day, the people who buy the stuff will figure out that it they're not winning if it costs one-third the price of normal TP when everyone has to use ten times more of it, but who knows when that day will happen. Because it hasn't happened yet.
Even with a bidet that paper sucks. Drying off you ass with it leaves so much paper crumble everywhere that you'll need the bidet again...
Okay Team Bidet, how are they actually supposed work?
The tricky part with phase 1 is managing water pressure. Too little is ineffective. Too much blasts shit everywhere.
Do a test squirt into the bowl so you know what you've got to work with. Start with low pressure to get most of it, adjust angle of necessary, then hit it with everything.
I get that's the principle, but how long are you supposed to spray for? How much pressure? Is there a trick to it? In my own limited experience, it doesn't actually do much more than dampen the poo.
You know you're supposed to use the bidet after you're done pooping, right?
Yeah, but how long do you have to dampen your crack in order to feel the equivalent clean of two dry wipes?
Just dont try to spray up your ass, its pretty hard but you dont wanna.
But now you only use three or four squares of TP to dry off instead of fingerpainting shit all up your asscrack until the point you've been conditioned to believe is clean enough.
One problem though, shitting at your workplace or anywhere else will be insufferable. My LPT is to take one of the better hand towels and wet it in a sink before hitting up a stall. Thank me later.
A water bottle with a sport cap is a sufficient travel bidet.