askchapo

Pants huh.

When I have the money to spend I like well fitting bootcut jeans in deep black or faded blue. But I rarely have the money to spend.

I wear a lot of old clothes I thrifted years ago, with a standout being some super faded purple corduroy jeans that are now pretty torn up and would be better suited to use as rags but I like them anyway. They're well worn in, comfy as a motherfucker. I could blend in as fully houseless when I wear them with some of my other stuff. Somehow they make me feel like an old timey frontier dwelling dyke- I can't explain it really, something about their totally shapeless form while being perfectly fitted to my waist, plus the wear and tear, makes me feel like I'm living on pure grit and determination without a care for aesthetics. In a strangely inverted way, that provides its own aesthetic pleasure.

When I'm expecting to get busy, and I don't say this with pride, I wear some 5.11 tactical SWAT pants. They are expensive and have many pockets. The material isn't even especially rugged, but they breathe well and are extremely functional. Too functional even. The fuck am I going to do with a gun retention loop in my back pocket? lol. Just kidding, the street finds its own uses for things, that loop is a neat little feature. I fear being read as a cop or a fed when I put these on. I have a matching shirt too. I feel like I give off fascist vibes when I combine them, so mostly I don't.

The most expensive pair of pants are my real stand on business shit though- they're locally made motorcycle jeans, very rugged, reinforced with kevlar. When I combine those with an armoured motorbike jacket I am almost incapable of feeling fear. I've come off skateboards at high speed and slid across intersections in that getup, and just bounced right back with all my skin intact. That's my riot armour for real. I think I could take a bat to the back without much worry. The jeans have a slot for knee protection but I don't have armour for that since I wear hard shell outer knee pads if I'm doing shenanigans I am too old for.

When I'm feeling super queer and baller I've got another pair of thrifteds that are also a sort of purpleish red, with a like, I dunno, big cat print pattern on them. I end up with ancom colour coordination by happy accident quite often. Another pair were gifted to me by a partner's mother who just bought us pants that don't really fit so well because I lack serious hips or butt to fill them out. But they look sick, also have a big cat pattern, in shades of grey and black. I need a belt with those to really rely on them and they fit my calves properly while the top stays loose, it's an odd sort of sag. I dig em though. I make them look good regardless.

I also still have pants from the early 2000s from before I transitioned. I don't really wear them anymore but it's like they were designed for shoplifting and that's how I used to use them. The awkward shuffle walk when you've got 6 cans of paint in various parts of your pants is a funny skill to have retained as an adult but hey. Old habits die hard.

But what I'm wearing most of all? Cheap as shit sweatpants. If I can get away with sweats, yo I'm just going comfy mode. Unfortunately most of my sweatpants are worn in the ass and have holes torn in them from doing tricks with my dog. I still wear them but I gotta make sure I'm wearing full coverage underwear or it gets a lil sus looking lol.

OH. And I cannot forget my stretch "denim" jeans that are absolutely shredded, patched with pieces of old band shirts, stitched with wool and written on with paint pens. I guess that's a crust punk sorta look. They are a statement piece, real DIY vibes. But they expose a lot of skin (at this point) so I only like to wear them when it's cold and I can layer them with some leggings, since I so rarely groom leg hair anymore. My dysphoria keeps me from feeling "pride" in my leg hair but that's not enough to push me to keep them shits silky smooth. Almost all of my pants are worn baggy, but these are skin tight and sexy as fuck.

The best pants is no pants though. Dresses rock. Again tho it's a leg hair and self care dependent equation. The winter months are much more versatile for me.