this post was submitted on 04 Jan 2025
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why does every trans meme assume we change our name to just the other gendered version of our dead names lol. It's a trope at this point, but speaking as a trans woman that would be dysphoric af.
I guess, to be fair, I actually considered making my middle name similar to my dead name as a way out for my parents from the "it's just hard for us" but I realized I hated that idea and screw them if they think respecting me is too hard for them.
Edit: btw 2 years post come out and my dad finally used my chosen name for the first time. They can change, though my dad keeps misgendering, which shows me his heart isn't in the right place. He's thinking "appease" me as in his heart I'm still a guy, even though he definitely glanced at my chest... guh
Most of my friends who are trans immediately got a nickname because it was easier to go to that instead of their dead name and then you just needed to eventually go from nickname to their new name.
Me too, I had a non-gendered nickname based on my dead name, and was going to just have my middle chosen name be a lovely name that fit that nickname. But then I decided I hated the nickname and got sour on the idea of "making it easy" for my parents to dead name me in their heart, while using a chosen name.
Ended up not having a middle name, which is cool because I get to "legally attest" to not having a middle name sometimes which I thought was interesting.