I'd like to thank you (@Ada) for keeping everyone in the loop and dealing with the (sole) legitimate issue that a hexbear user raised as promptly as was possible for you, given that everyone has to sleep and have a life.

Defedding is an unfortunate step, but in this case it felt inevitable. Yes they were very good on issues surrounding representation for all kinds of 'minority' groups and there seemed to be a few good apples amongst them but the majority of that instance see absolutely everything through the lens of totalitarianism so its possibly not a surprise that that totalitarianism ethos spilled over into their interactions in the wider fediverse. Totalitarianism forbids dissenting or different opinions, no matter how innocent or minor the opinion and that seemed to me to be the essence of hexbear. The fact that their shade of totalitarianism included respecting trans/queer/non-white/differently abled people is both a good thing and still not enough to justify the rest of their rigidity. I intrinsicly mistrust anyone who is so absolutely certain about every part of their mindset that they cannot brook any kind of differing view, no matter how minor the difference being expressed is. Online, that results in dog-piling, brigading and flooding other instances and all that happens then is users on the recipient instance get bored with dealing with it and stay away.